Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas!



It's Christmas!  Above is a photo of my little tree (one day I'll get a huge ginormous one!).  I'm just noticing as I'm posting this that my dog totally photobombed this picture!  But it's a cute photobomb.  She's in the left hand corner sniffing the tree.  smh

Anyway, it's my favorite time of year.  I'm officially starting the countdown.  The truth is that Christmas day itself isn't such a huge deal, I usually don't do much considering I"m no longer a kid and I don't have kids yet.  I open a couple of presents and life goes on.  But it's everything leading up to it.  The festive spirit, music, food, people taking time out to get together.  It still makes me feel great.

Anyway, I hope you are all enjoying the days leading up to this day and don't let it go by in a whirlwind and you find looking back that it's just a blur in time.  Stop and look at the lights, wear one of those cheesy Christmas sweaters, drink too much egg nog (then plan to go on a diet cause that stuff is going straight to your hips), sing Christmas carols in the shower, take lots of pictures, and be merry!



Happy Birthday To Me!!! (Oh yeah and the world didn't end!)

Another Birthday!  Yay!  I thought I would give you guys a rundown of what I did but honestly it wasn't anything mind-blowing except I got to spend time with some of the people I enjoy the most, people who took the time to come and celebrate with me and thinking about how much I appreciate that I thought I would write about what I am most grateful for over the past year.  That's probably a better place to focus my attention right now.

I am grateful for:

1)  Friends: I don't have a ton of people I really call friends.  (I don't use the term very loosely).  I think when it comes to friendships, it's definitely quality over quantity and I have to say the ones I have are the best I could ever hope for!

2)  Unconditional love: Knowing I can be handful, I am thankful for being loved anyway.  I am thankful for the fact that I am a work in progress and for being accepted as such because that is everything.

3)  A job:  I complain about my job.  But at the end of the day, I have the means to do so many things that bring me so much joy.  My career path is also a work in progress.  But as of now, I have financial security which means freedom, and a sense of purpose, two things that are invaluable in the grand scheme of things.

4)  Inspiring people:  I mean that in two different ways: People who inspire me and those who I have managed to inspire.  I meet many of those people on a regular basis.  When I get to inspire or help people it gives me warm and fuzzy feelings inside (corny, I know but true).  Whether it's this blog, or all the hard work I put into other aspects of my life, I love when people feel inspired by me.  And when I meet people going through hardships (and I do often) who are able to find hope and joy anyway, they help me to put my own life into perspective and for that I'm grateful.

5)  All kinds of other random stuff:  good food, music, good hair days, Dunkin Donuts pumpkin flavored iced coffee, good weather, playing with my dog, playing with my boyfriend, laughing at silly things on the internet... just laughing at silly things, talking to  my mom on the phone,  cupcakes, photographs, awesome memories, pedicures, pretty dresses, blogging.... and the list goes on

6)  Oh yeah... THE WORLD DIDN'T END... I'm thankful for that :)
A couple of the wonderful people who helped me celebrate my birthday




Is it just me or do these pictures look like something out of the '70's?... Maybe it's just me

Letter to my Dog

Dear Chloe:

I am very happy to have you in my life.  Taking you into my home was a gamble.  I was taking a chance at a lifetime commitment to an animal I wasn’t sure if I would love or feel burdened by.  Maybe a little bit of the two.  But I did it anyway.
I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.  Something about your innocence touched me.  It was a cold day in March and as I held you in my hand, you were timid and afraid but also happy to be held by me.  You were trembling and your tail was wagging at the same time.  And with that, my decision was made. 
It was rough for us the first few weeks, months even.  But you stuck with me, pup.  Since I have had you, you have been the one constant in my life and believe me, I needed that.  We moved around so much.! People came and went.  At my lowest point, I had you there always happy to hear the key turn in the door and see me walk through it.  No one has ever been so excited to see me to this day!
Well, pupster, here we are.  We’ve crossed a few milestones together.  And, faithful as always, you have never questioned any of my decisions, never judged me or left my side…just trusted me to love you and take care of you the way you love and take care of me in your own little puppy way.  And for that, I say thank you!
Your best friend,
Lisa









Letter to my Dog

Get the book that inspired this letter for a dog-lover this Christmas if you're still doing your Christmas shopping.  It's a compilation of letters written by different celebrities.  Some are funny and some are touching, most of them are both.  I was reading it in Barnes and Noble and I kid you not it made me cry and laugh at the same time  which is quite embarrassing as you can imagine.
Anyway, it would make a great coffee table book and the letters are so heartwarming!  I'm thinking of buying it myself.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Natural Hair Moments: 2

Over the past few months, I've had some new Natural Hair moments that I thought I would share with you guys in case you're having the same experiences.  You're not alone out there! 

1) When you find a great new hairstyle that is just so awesome and you're so excited because FINALLY you've got it all figured out, you will rock this style every day and never grow tired of it.  Weeks later, you run out of hairstyles again and remember that hairstyle you loved so much but realize you have no recollection of what the hairstyle looks like and how to do it... ARGH!

2)  When I do a new hairdo and my dog sits and stares at my hair and I imagine she's thinking, "wtf is that on your head?"

3)  When you hear a man make a reference to "running his fingers" through a woman's hair and you have to laugh inside of the thought of someone literally trying to "run" their fingers through your hair.  HA!

4)  When you put your hair in an updo and you get in the car and you can feel your hair grazing the ceiling of the car.  #Big hair!

5)  When you put your hair in a gorgeous out style.  I'm talking perfectly defined curls that fall just perfectly into place and you're so proud of yourself.  Later that day, you think you're still looking fly until you happen to be walking past a mirror or anything that shows a reflection and gasp in shock at what you see.  #Humid weather aka Florida

6)  Having a hairstyle planned way in advance and then on the day of, you go to execute said hairstyle that you've been literally dreaming about all week/month/year, your heart drops when you realize your hair just isn't having it.  But then in your efforts to wrangle your hair into this hairstyle anyway, you find another even cooler hairstyle!!... cue choir singing "Hallelujah"!




Saturday, December 8, 2012

What's the Big Deal with Straight Hair Anyway???



  I've come to the realization, that it's the general consensus all over the world that straight hair is better than curly hair and it's not just among black women.  I can't help but wonder why this is.  There is nothing any more interesting in my opinion in straight hair versus curly hair.  I've noticed many celebs who start out with curly hair in their humble beginnings, then ditch the look for a straight sleek style somewhere along the road to stardom or super-stardom, never to look back.  It's like a rite of passage.  Here are just a few examples.
SJP before and after




Tia and Tamera before and after




Taylor Swift before and after

And there's much more where those came from.  I still think curly hair is beautiful and always have.  Has anyone else noticed this trend? 

Humidity!

I had gotten a little over-excited because the weather was changing from hot and humid to cool and dry.  I was wearing my hair out for days on end with no consequences.  But then I woke up from my dream and realized it's Florida and the humidity would soon return and return it did.  It's so frustrating.  Everytime I walk out of my house with my hair out, dry and perfectly coiffed only for it to turn damp, shrunken and frizzy within seconds (yes, seconds...I'm not exaggerating!), I threaten to move away.  It's THAT serious!

I decided Thursday to do something I don't normally do which is take my hair out of the twists and wear it out to work.  Little did I know it had rained the night before and it was wet, damp and humid outside.  If I'd known this I would have at least taken a before picture for you guys.  Needless to say, I had to grab a few hairpins on my way out the door and do an impromptu updo in an attempt to not to go work looking like a crazy lioness (and give my boss a heart attack).  Here is said updo:

A little crazy but not nearly as bad as it could have been.
Later than evening after work I took down my pin-up and this is the result

I salvaged some of the curls but now my hair refused to fall flat.  I was really feeling my bangs though!
 Then I started unpacking and came across my favorite headband
Anyway, I hope wherever you guys are, you are having good hair weather.  I'm gonna pin this baby back up and pray for dry weather again so I can wear my hair out instead of in boring twists :/

I'll keep you guys posted.

Back in Action

Hello Naturalistas!

It's been a few weeks since my last post.  There was the busy-ness of Thanksgiving and immediately after that, all hell broke loose as I tried to move my entire life from one place to another.  I wasn't moving far, but you never realize how much sh&t you have until you have to pack it all up and move it somewhere else.  Talk about exhausting. 
In the midst of all that, I had misplaced everything, including the USB cord to my phone where all my pictures are...hence why I haven't blogged in awhile.  That and being ridiculously busy... and that I still haven't switched over my internet connection.  I'm currently using some other person's internet and it's in and out very spotty connection.  That's my life the past few weeks.  Anyway, ideas for blog posts have been piling up in my head in addition to the guilt of keeping you guys hanging with nothing new on my page. 
Below are the pictures of my hair over Thanksgiving.  My hair was very happy because I unleashed it and just let it do what it do. I didn't try to tame it, force it into submission, I didn't do a damn thing to it.  Check out the pictures below. 


It's hard to tell in a lot of my pictures but this one and the one below are a good testament to just how dense and thick my hair is!  I don't even wanna re-live the nightmare of trying to de-tangle this a few days later!


And voila! 

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving weather was cool and dry... perfect hair weather!  Very rare for Florida...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Back on the Juice

I'm back on my juicing game!  I took a hiatus from juicing for a few reasons.  But I"m back to it.  Unfortunately the the veggie juices I tried to make the past couple of times had a terrible aftertaste that was so bad I couldn't stomach it and threw it out.  That kind of threw me off and killed my inspiration to juice.  But I'm back to it.  Today I started a new cycle of regular juicing with a great recipe that actually tasted pretty decent with very minimal aftertaste.  Try my recipe:

1/2 cucumber
1 small apple or 1/2 large apple
2 medium sized carrots
3 medium sized strawberries

I ditched the usual lemon and ginger addition and realized I really didn't need it.  Nice and simple.  It made one full cup and I down the entire thing in a few gulps and I feel better for it!

Oh, I also high-tailed my butt to the gym, something I hadn't done in about a week.  Shame on me!  My Elliptical machine is down and out so I had to use the dreaded treadmill but it really wasn't that bad.  I was happy to just get my heart rate up.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Natural Hair Inspiration

Hello Bellas!

I am excited to share some inspiration with you.  Actually I'm a little late in sharing this but better late than never right?  If you're into hair porn (read: inspirational photos of beautiful natural hair) as much as I am, you are going to love this tumblr page:  Natural Hair Rules

If you are a new or aspirational naturalista or even a veteran in need of some inspiration as we all are from time to gime, then BOOKMARK THIS PAGE!


I go on here everyday and I never get tired of looking at pictures of natural hair of all types.  The moments when I wonder why I ever decided to go natural in the first place or if I should go back to relaxing my hair, I draw inspiration from these photos.

Below are some examples of the wonderful ideas I get from this website.
I love the haircut!  Short in the back and longer in the front.  One day I hope to cut my hair in a style like this.

I love her hair but I LOVE her makeup... it's not over the top but oh so feminine and gorgeous. The entire look is to die for

I've never blown out my hair, I'm so afraid of heat damage (my hair is very fragile) but I love this blown-out look on her and everything else down to her t-shirt and her African print bangles and necklace

This is my favorite because her hair texture reminds me of my hair texture: thick and course but look how gorgeous!  I"m not sure how she got those beautiful waves in her hair but I will figure it out and rock this look someday


See what I mean?  This is only the tip of iceberg of inspiring things I see everyday on this website.  I hope you enjoy this website as much as I do!  And hopefully there will be many more like this one to show how beautiful natural can be.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Is There a Natural Hair Movement?

An inspirational naturalista, Solange, newly chopped
Over the past year or so, I've been hearing a lot about a natural hair movement.  At the time that I went natural, I certainly was not joining a movement.  No one I knew personally was natural and no one was really talking about it.  I felt like I was definitely going against the grain and was so nervous about how people would see me.
I got questions like: "Are you extremely religious?" or "Did you have a bad break-up or something?" as if to say being staunchly religious or going through some crisis involving a man was the only reason someone would cut their hair off and start over again natural.  I say this to point out that up until recently, there was nothing anyone would mistake for a "natural hair movement".  So whenever I read someone referring to a movement, I mostly just rolled my eyes and kept it moving.  But I'm starting to notice a pattern myself.
Going natural isn't just for the afro-centric extremist or some other exceptional group of people.  It's for everyone.  I've seen a lot of just normal everyday black women rocking their natural hair and it makes me smile.  At my job, there are 5 black women, 4 of which are natural (including myself).  Just the other day, I was admiring how we are all natural but so different in our styles.  I was rocking my go-to protective style for work, a twist updo, one of the ladies was wearing a puff, the other a twist out and the last one also a wash-and-go.  I feel like it's now normal and not an exception anymore to be natural.
Well, I was never sure how I felt about this so called movement because truthfully I like diversity.  I like that my look is a little bit different and that someone else may have straight hair, and another person may have long extensions or whatever.  I dont' feel like everyone has to conform.  But guess what?  It's just an affirmation of our beauty as black women that we can proudly go about with our real natural hair and have it be not only OK, but beautiful... and still quite diverse.  So, I'm embracing the "movement" and encouraging everyone to be themselves whatever that means for you.  Diversity is good but self-acceptance?  Even better!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My Hair (The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly)

 So I've been having a little bit of a struggle with my hair since taking the rope twists out a couple of weeks ago.  It just wouldn't cooperate with me and just wanted to look crazy and do it's own thing.  I got so flustered with it that I went out and bought a kit for a Keratin Treatment.  Please don't judge me.  It just goes to show that you're never really above having self esteem issues and more specifically hair- esteem issues.  I just felt that it was too much work, I wasn't meeting my goals and I just wasn't feeling very attractive.  I was having a moment.
Well after doing some research on the keratin treatment realizing it has formaldehyde or some derivative of that in it, I realized it was hopeless.  I wasn't feeling bad enough about my hair to go back to messing with harmful chemicals.  The reason I had thought about it in the first place, is that it's not permanent like a relaxer.  I knew even in the midst of my crisis that I didn't want to make a permanent decision.  Anyway, putting chemicals in my hair to alter it is a no-go for  me so I left it alone until I finally made peace with it again. 
I'm back to being in love with my hair.  Kinks, curls naps and all.  I just spent some time giving it some TLC with finger detangling and a co-wash and I decided it might help me to continue to feel good about my hair and see my progress if I document my hair journey more.  Here are photos of what it's been doing over the past week. 
Puff... the shrinkage is maddening
Twist out...again mad shrinkage but I was fine with it

Messy twist out, out and about in my car running errands

Later that evening out with friends and the bf

Same night, enjoying myself

The next day, hanging around at home... it just kept getting fluffier

Day 3 of the same twist out, decided to wear it out for work


Day 4 of the same twist out.  I had put it in a bun it in the morning so the curls were mostly gone but this was right before my pre-shampoo treatment

Anyway, I love my hair because as you can see there are so many different looks.  One day it looks one way, the next completely different.  Oh and despite my struggles with styling it, it's been oh so soft and fluffy.  It's been hard to keep my hands out of it.  Hopefully it stays that way for a while.

That's it.  Later Gators!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Veggies Veggies and More Veggies

Hey Naturalistas

I thought I would share with you my journey to adding more veggies to my diet.  A few months ago I went to the doctor and found out I was severely anemic which made sense with how fatigued I felt a lot of times.  I had known for a long time that I just don't eat enough fruits and vegetables and I decided then that it was time.  I bought a juicer and you can read about my foray into juicing here: Hooked on the Juice.  I definitely recommend juicing.

Anyway, I can't say I grew up eating a lot of vegetables.  When I walk through the produce department at Publix, I have no idea what most of the vegetables are, how to prepare them or what they taste like.  Which is why I am experimenting and so far so good.

I started out with zucchini.  I had never tasted a zucchini in my life.  I made a chunky vegetable soup medley thingey (I have no idea what to call it) consisting of lots of peeled and sliced zucchini, corn, black beans, and tomato chunks.  It's not really soupy because it has so much veggies in it, it's more the consistency of chili minus the meat.  I add chili sauce and various seasonings.

Well, recently I decided to buy asparagus.  I had also never really eaten asparagus.  I decided to make it with this turkey sausage pasta that I had made before.  I just cooked the pasta as usual.  I cooked the sausage in a teaspoon of olive oil.  I then coat the asparagus in a wee bit of olive oil and grilled/stir fried it in same the pan so it gets the flavor of the sausage.  The asparagus ends up being crispy and quite yummy.  I added the asparagus and sausage to the pasta and I added marinara sauce (not shown).  And for the first time, I've enjoyed eating vegetables.  I plan to keep going with this and randomly add various veggies to my usual dishes or come up with new ones and see how it goes.

As a follow-up on my juicing, my digestive system did adjust and I have had no issues.  Along with taking daily iron supplements, I've found I have more energy and I have had no dizziness/light headed-ness and feeling overall better.  I've been juicing daily on and off (going on a vacation, running out of veggies and not having time to replenish, etc.) but trying to be more consistent with it.  I"m actually running to the gym right now then going to restock my veggies.  Right now I'm using cucumbers, carrots, celery, an apple and ginger and lime for flavor.  





Sunday, October 14, 2012

Why I Deactivated My Facebook Account

I deactivated my Facebook account last night. It's not the first time I've done it. It's always temporary. Sometimes I go just days, sometimes weeks before reactivating it. I may go months this time, maybe I'll permanently deactivate it. Wait, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that big step yet. But let me break down what Facebook has done to my life, and I'm sure many of you can relate. Before Facebook, people just went about their lives. They kept contact with a few friends from high school maybe, from college perhaps and a few of their current acquaintances: co-workers, friends of the family, etc. More than likely you would have lost contact with most of the people from your past. They went about their lives, you went about yours. Maybe on occasion you may have stopped to wonder: whatever happened to so-and so? And then you move on. If you are compelled to do so and you are friends with someone who is still in contact with them, you may ask how they're doing. But generally you move along with your own life. Step by step, day by day. Then came Facebook. You made an account and added a photo of yourself thinking of all the people from your past who may be seeing it. You find the best-looking picture of you. The one of you on a beach in Brazil (look how lucky I am to have traveled so far), the one where you have on something that brings out your eyes and shows off your figure for all the guys in the past who overlooked you and of course to make other girls jealous. You add the prestigious school you went to. You put down that you're "in a relationship" and daydream about the moment when you can change that status to engaged or married for the all the world to see. Old acquaintances, friends, lovers, enemies alike all popped up out of the woodwork. You felt the need to "friend" all those people. Their faces would pop up on the left side of the screen under "People You May Know" and with one click you could friend them and you did. You would feel a feeling a satisfaction, one more notch on your friend-count. Just one of the many ways to judge your own self worth... and others. Let's see if I can get up to 200 friends like Mike. Oh wow, John has 550 friends, he must be popular and well-liked. You friend your friends. You friend your enemies. Because you want them to see how far you've come, how hot you look, how cute your kids are, that someone loved you enough to marry you, that you started your own company, etc. Just a little boost for your ego. Until you find yourself "cyber-stalking" other people. (Don't act like you don't do it). You log into Facebook 10x a day to read other people's status updates. You realize that each time you log in and someone is bragging about how awesome their life is and how lucky they are, posting photos of their $50,000 wedding or their lavish vacation and you start to wonder what's up with your own life. Feelings of inadequacy start to creep in. And you feel inadequate for feeling inadequate. After all, it's just a silly social networking website. The obsession continues. A sting of envy to find out that your ex-best friend just got engaged and you're still single. You find yourself caring so much about the lives of people you never speak to... your "friends". Being a relatively self-aware person, I was seeing these patterns in myself. This need for validation from fake virtual "friends"...people who would not show up to my funeral if I died (but would maybe gossip to other people about it and secretly feel better about their own lives because, well, better me than them). Cynical? Maybe. True? Most likely. I decided to deactivate my account because I was spending more time focused on other people's lives than my own. And although I am a very private person, I was feeling the urge to engage in the bragging and desperate seeking of validation that people tend to do on Facebook. I was tempted to brag about how great my life is, to post pictures of my lavish vacation and of the flowers my boyfriend bought me today with the caption : "I'm the luckiest girl in the world :)". And although there's nothing wrong with that, it's the intention. All my real friends know about my life. Like everyone else's, it has its ups and downs. They will all see the pictures from my vacation because they will come see me and I will show them or we'll get together at some point. They will all know when I'm engaged or married or having a baby, because I will pick up the phone and call them and tell them. The only reason I would post it on Facebook is for the fake "friends". And why do they need to know the details of my life? That is the question and also the answer. So when I feel myself losing myself. I withdraw a little, turn inward and focus on what is here now. The people who truly love me and will be there for me and would show up to my funeral if I died today. I deactivated my account to prove that Socrates was wrong when he said, "The unexamined life is not worth living". Oh a less sour note, Facebook has its place when used correctly. Sometimes there are people who do honestly care about you and you about them. And maybe they are far away, and Facebook is a convenient way to share your life with them from across the country or across the world or wherever. That said, I'm almost certain that most people don't use Facebook strictly in this way. 9 times out of 10 it's in the ways I described above, especially among young people. Anyway, it feels good to disconnect, and thereby reconnect to what really matters here and now. Facebook, we shall meet again soon. Until then, farewell!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

"Hair" We Go Again

I took my twists out after 5 weeks of having them in. I was getting really antsy to remove them as I tend to do whenever I get my hair braided or twisted. They were also frizzy and starting to look messy. I was originally aiming for 8 weeks. Then, I thought maybe I could go 6 weeks. But, alas, it was time. Well, it was a much needed break. A break I needed from dealing with my hair and the break it needed from dealing with me. I'm kind of excited about my hair again. I'm hitting milestones so I know I'm progressing. My hair is past my shoulders now and can do a decent bun all on its own without the help of headbands and a million hairpins. It should be a little more low maintenance from here. Oh and to address one thing. I had posed the question in a previous post as to whether the trauma and manipulation of installing twists and braids is worth the period of low manipulation. My hair suffered some real trauma, I can see the places where it's broken and frayed from rough handling at the hands of the person who did my hair. What can I say, even I lack the patience sometimes to handle my hair gently so I certainly can't expect someone with nothing invested in keeping my hair healthy to have the patience. It's one of the reasons I choose to have my hair done only once a year at most. That and the fact that I realize I'm really not a fan of long hair. That's why I get so antsy to remove them. All that hair (hair that didn't grow out of my head at that) all over me just makes me cranky sometimes!
Anyway, I'm excited again about my big wild crazy hair. I'm gonna try to take really good care of it so it'll be healthy and strong again.

Monday, October 8, 2012

My Hair Journey (from 2 years ago)

Below is a note I wrote on Facebook back in Sept of 2010... 2 years ago! I was a new natural then and it was long before I even thought of starting this blog but I felt the need to chronicle the amazing journey and share it somehow. It was interesting to go back and read about how I was feeling way back then. I hope this inspires you:
My Hair Journey (... So far) So as many of you have noticed, I cut my hair off the beginning of June. I had been planning this for awhile and finally found the guts to go through with it. My first reaction: like I was seeing myself for the first time. Good thing or bad thing, you ask? A little of both. The first thing I noticed was the shape of my head and my face, like I'd never seen it before. I couldn't quite put a finger on what I found so bizarre about my head and my face (which I had looked at in the mirror many times before). Maybe it's because my head isn't very long and my head looked small ... or something. I wasn't sure. It took awhile to get used to. I felt naked. So what led up to this? I'd never considered going natural. I just never thought of it as an option that was for me. I never paid attention to the other people who wore their natural hair, except for the ones who have bi-racial hair, with big poofy perfectly defined curls. I admired their hair, but knew that's not what mine would look like. So I looked, but the thought of wearing my hair natural never even crossed my mind. I guess it was my ex-boyfriend who originally planted the seeds. He is not of my race and any comments on my hair, even with the most affection, were very unwelcome and I let him know that. But he persisted, in the sweetest way he could. "Why don't you wear your natural hair?" It incited defensiveness in me. What does a white guy know about a black woman's hair? And is it any of his business? I assumed that he assumed I had the type of hair I described above and once he saw my kinky coarse hair, he would scoff. I also felt strongly that he should keep his opinion on what I should do with my hair to himself. But even in my anger, deep down I thought about it. He had planted the seeds but they weren't growing. They just sat there in the back of my mind until one day out of nowhere, my sister told me she was considering going natural. I hadn't mentioned anything to her about the conversations with my then-boyfriend so it was seemingly out of nowhere. In response, I said the last thing I would have imagined myself to say: "Me too!". Maybe it was hearing it from a fellow "sister" who had hair like mine instead of a white guy who knew nothing about black hair. But I was now open to it. Fear and excitement filled me. I went three months without a relaxer, longer than I had ever gone since my first relaxer at 9 years old. And then it all crashed. My then-boyfriend and I broke up and I was single again. I felt vulnerable! I had so many decisions to make, many which had nothing to do with my hair. But my vulnerability was breaking me and I told my sister I wasn't sure if I'd be able to continue on this journey with her. Even then, I persisted. On Feb. 14 2010, a week after my sister did her "Big Chop", I caved and relaxed mine. I won't say I immediately regretted it. I was a little relieved but I although my hair was straight and silky, it was still broken and damaged and I knew it wasn't the right thing. As I got over the breakup and readjusted to some changes in my life, I began to entertain going natural again. My sister at this time was already natural and loving it and giving me inspiration everyday. Another 3 1/2 months of no relaxer and I finally cut it in June. I had gotten lots of encouragement from people who didn't even have any idea what I was planning. I was working in a hospital at the time. Hospitalized patients tend to be at their most vulnerable it brings out the best or worst in people. In my experience, some of the nicest, memorable people I've met are patients I worked with in the hospital, but that's a different note for another day. I was transitioning and was no longer able to wear my hair down, so I'd slick it back and bobby pin it down so my face was exposed. I got lots of compliments on my face and how much better it looked unmasked by hair, although I'd always had short hair, I usually had bangs framing, or concealing my face. Apparently I have a nice face and nice bone structure and don't need hair at all! At least that's what people were leading me to believe. One patient, an elderly lady who apparently used to be a model (she had many pictures of her young self in her hospital room) told me I had a great face and a lovely hairline. That one perplexed me, but it made me feel good nonetheless. So I figured, if I look more beautiful without hair in my face, I'll probably shine even more once I cut it all off. Well that confidence didn't always stay with me after I did it. I had bad days. But I still got compliments at work. I had inspired some black women at the hospital to do it, others said I had the face for it but it was just not for them, and some looked or even stared but said nothing. Those ones made me most self-conscious. One of my co-workers a middle aged woman who apparently had a wild streak, told me I had "sexy" hair. No one laughed or scoffed and I didn't hear any whispers. People mostly just got over it. My hair felt dry and rough at first and some days I looked in the mirror and didnt' like what I saw despite the affirmations. But I learned what products to use, how to care for it and the #1 requirement": wear it with confidence no matter how you feel! Most people don't even notice your bad hair day, but they do notice if you look downtrodden and dejected. They notice if you look confident and self- assured. I've had a few days of regret but by and large, as with most of my life experiences, I would do it all again! Someone once said, you are more likely to regret they things you didnt' do that the things you did. I try to live by that in instances where it makes sense which is most of them. It hasn't failed me yet!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Protective Styles

I've diverted my attention to my travels for awhile but let come back to the true intention of this blog for a little bit and I will tell you guys a little bit about my protective style: senegalese twists.  It was quite an ordeal finding someone to do my hair but I really really wanted them for my trip so I wouldn't have to fuss with my hair, worry about things like frizz and shrinkage, having to stretch my hair, worry about tangles... you know, all the those great things about having natural hair (sarcasm).

Anyway, I got them done and immediately started to ponder if the trauma and manipulation your hair suffers from having braids/twists put in is really worth it?  Is it possible that it may offset the benefits of having your hair "put away" for a period of time?  Does it do more harm than good?  It's something to think about.

Anyway, I have had these twists in for 3 weeks now.  They were not installed by a "professional" so they're just barely hanging in but it's still a much needed break from dealing with my hair issues.  My boyfriend likes them and I've gotten quite a few compliments.  Best of all, I was able to enjoy my vacation without worrying too much about it.

Now as a far as caring for it, it's been very low maintenance.  Well, for the first 2 weeks, I was so distracted with my vacation that I forgot to or just plain didn't feel like moisturizing and sealing (my bad!).  However, I did get my hair wet with salt water and was forced to wash it.  I basically used the hotel shampoo, massaged it through my scalp and let the water and the runoff from the shampoo run through my hair while I raked my fingers through it to get it clean.  I then squeezed it dry, put in one large braid and immediately wrapped a tight towel around it to prevent frizzing.  I let most of the water soak into the towel for several hours ( I fell asleep), then I tied it down with my satin scarf for the night.   In the morning, it was dry, mostly frizz free and I had nice curls from my braid-out.

Since I returned from my vacation I have been spritzing with water or using my Curl Enhancing Smoothie and sealing with castor oil.  Last night, I filled my water bottle with water and what was supposed to be a few drops of tea tree oil but my hand slipped and I used way too much but I diluted it as best I could.  Tea tree oil is an antibacterial so it's a great way to keep hair and scalp clean and bacteria free.  I parted the hair and made sure to get all parts of my scalp directly and then I spritzed the length of my hair.  I still plan to wash it next weekend and hopefully keep them in an additional 2 weeks for a total of 6 weeks.  I do have to admit that the getting my hair wet and washing did cause quite a bit of frizzing although I took every precaution to prevent that.  But it needed to be done.  

And that's it!

I'm already thinking of what I'll do with my hair once I take these twists out.  I'm thinking henna and/or bentonite clay treatment (review), stretching it and maybe trying out a wash-n-go, something I have not tried in a long time.  I plan to purchase some Carol's Daughter products including the hair milk which I did a review on awhile back.  My "wash and go" is not a traditional wash and go.  It's done on dry stretched hair by adding a moisturizer such as the hair milk and activator gel to where the hair is "wet" enough that it curls a bit but without as much shrinkage.  I haven't done a wash and go since I had a TWA... it's been awhile.  I plan to try this because I'm exasperated with a the time consuming process of twisting my hair and twist outs don't seem to last long on my hair and I need something lower maintenance.  And I would like to wear my hair out more instead of in twists all the time.  This will just be a trial.  I'll let you guys know how this all goes.

Laters Naturalistas!

Thailand Part 3


Our plans for our second day in Phuket were to go to Patong, which is basically the town center where you will find most of the nightlife: bars, nightclubs, etc. and lots of markets for shopping.  We did some shopping in Patong.  I only bought a couple of things for the reasons I mentioned earlier, that I am a  very bad “spontaneous shopper” and terrible at bargaining.  But J was very helpful to all 3 of us in getting the “Thai price” for items as opposed to the foreigner price.  Although J is clearly not Thai, he speaks well enough to charm and pressure the seller into lowering their prices.
We stopped at a tour company and scheduled a few tours for the first few days of our stay in Phuket including elephant trekking and a cabaret show.   The cabaret show consists of “lady-boys” in all their glamour lip synching, dancing, performing, entertaining like no one else can.  But first we had to go back to the hotel for our mid afternoon nap (damn jetlag!)
After laying down for a 1 hour nap, I woke up 3 hours later, about 10 minutes before our car was supposed to pick us up to go the show.  Of course I was all foggy-headed and nowhere near ready for the show and neither was J.  It took me about 5 of the 10 minutes to wake him and orient him to what was going on.  We got dressed in a hurry and made it down the catch the car to the cabaret show.
The cabaret show was fun.  There was some comedy, some traditional dances representing different countries from China to Brazil and some modern pop numbers.  There was  Cher impersonator and a Christina Aguilera impersonator.  But the most interesting part was being in awe of these “lady boys” and how beautiful some of them were and very much like ladies.  After the show there were photo ops outside of the auditorium.
I of course, a sucker for any photo op to commemorate my time and experience  while traveling, had to take a photo with the “lady boys”.  There was a crowd after the theater emptied and the lady boys were waiting for the attendees to come take photos with them (and tip them of course).  Some were more popular than others and many of them seemed a little desperate, calling onlookers to come take photos with them.   I took out my 100 bahts and approached to take a photo with one of the lady boys.  Immediately two others joined in and I was more than thrilled to take a picture with all three of them but then things took a turn for the worse.  I handed the 100 baht to one of the lady boys and heard an immediate onslaught of protests, saw hands reaching out aggressively and I knew something was wrong.  I couldn’t understand why they were upset but I figured it had something to do with money.  I looked over to J for help since I couldn’t’ understand what they were saying and I called him to come over and help me and he shook his head in refusal. It was a pretty awkward situation and I was starting to feel embarassed.  J called me over and I heard the protests get louder to the point of aggression as I dared to walk away to approach him.  “They want to be paid individually” he said and handed me 200 bahts more.  I hurried over and handed it to the other two lady boys.  They instantly transformed into the ladies they pretend to be, bowing graciously and greeting me.  I bowed back and walked away hurriedly.  J grabbed my arm and just about dragged me away.  He proceeded to lecture me on how money-hungry the lady boys can be to the point aggression and how you can find yourself in a dangerous situation very quickly when money is involved.  I wondered why he hadn't told me all this before. 
I tried not to let the incident sour my mood as we went back to the hotel.  J later explained everything so it all made sense and we had a long conversation about it.  A combination of female hormones and testosterone would logically cause people to be quick-tempered.  J was just trying to protect me and himself.  I was still glad we had gone to the show and I had gotten the photos since it was a part of my experience I wanted to remember.  Sitting out on the balcony listening to the waves again calmed my mind and we later called it a night. 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Travel Blog: Thailand Parts 1 & 2


Thailand Part 1

I took an amazing trip to Thailand with my boyfriend, J, a good friend, S, and her significant other, Jo.  You may be wondering how this came about in the first place.  At least that’s the question I get all the time.  Who thinks to take a vacation on the other side of the world in Thailand of all places?  Thailand is actually a popular tourist destination but maybe moreso in other parts of the world that are closer to Asia like Africa and Australia.  But for an American, it’s a long and arduous process to get there: a 24 hour trip by airplane!  I had never traveled so far in my life.

Well my boyfriend, J, happens to have lived in Thailand. He worked over there doing business for about 5 years after college and has not been back since he left about 3 years ago.  He recently graduated from a professional program and decided to take the opportunity before he got tied to a job to travel over.   Of course, he planted the idea in my head and I was ready to go.  Even after he decided we should go someplace closer instead, I had already gotten my hopes up about Thailand and I insisted we go.

How did my S and her boyfriend, Jo, come in the picture?  S happens to love to travel as much as I do  so when I told her about our plans for Thailand her immediate response was, “I want to come”.  Well a big part of the reason was that Jo had always wanted to go to Thailand.  Somewhere in life he had developed a fascination with Thailand and a love of the food.  So we decided to invite them along.

So  Sept 13th, we headed off across the globe on a 24 hour trip by plane.  I survived the flight but I was not prepared for the jet lag that ensued.  I mean I was literally falling asleep by 5pm everyday and waking up full of energy at 3am.  It drove me nuts!

But otherwise my trip was beyond awesome.  We spent our first two nights in Bangkok at a popular area calls Khao San Road.  There are few words to describe the chaos, craziness and livelihood that is Khao San Road.  When we arrived there after 11pm the street was crowded, vendors of all types selling goods, the smell of street food being cooked, seared, stir fried right here on the street.  There were young couples laughing and walking through the street. Lights, sounds and energy.  And this went on all through the night. 

When I awoke at 4 am unable to fall back asleep, J  graciously offered to take me out into the street to get food. Maybe the jetlag had woken him up too so he wasn’t too annoyed with my tossing and turning… YET. (more to come on that later).  The craziness from the night was still going on full force as we walked through the street and stopped  at a vendor selling fresh fruit juice that she was extracting right here on street from an array of local fruits, some with which I was familiar and some with which I was not.  I declined as I was more hungry than thirsty and we ended up at Burger King.  OK before you have a cow, in our defense, we wanted traditional breakfast food, not the pad thai and chicken skewers that were being sold on the street.  It felt a little too early for that.

I should mention that one of my favorite street foods while I was there was banana crepes.  Unfortunately there was none to be found that morning.  But a banana crepe was the first food I had in Thailand after we reached our destination on Khao San Road the night we arrived.  They were made from the batter right there in front of us, spread with Nutella and layered with freshly peeled bananas and then folded into a crepe for all of 40 bahts (that would be less than $1.50).  But I digress…

After breakfast, J and I took a romantic stroll away from the now dying-down craziness on Khao San as the moon was disappearing and the  sun was starting to peek it’s head up over the horizon.  We walked down another  street that had actual restaurants and looked almost Parisian, a far cry from the chaos on Khao San.  We would later have breakfast there our last morning in Bangkok before heading to Phuket.

That day, we did J’s least favorite thing to do in Thailand: visit temples.  S and Jo insisted on seeing all the temples, which isn’t exactly my cup of tea either.  I’m more of an adventure and nature kind of gal myself but it was an OK experience.  I felt bad for poor J who ended up playing tour guide, orchestrating the taxi commute, and everything else.  But something tells me he kind of enjoyed it too.  All the taxi drivers and other local Thais we ran into were so impressed and in awe of how well he spoke Thai and his familiarity with the local culture and “lingo”. 

Of course by 5pm I started to get very very sleepy and almost irritable.  That jetlag would stay with me through the trip and the first few days of my time back in the US unfortunately.  But my first day in Thailand went off without a hitch.  On to day 2.






Thailand Part  2

The morning of our second day, I was able to sleep a bit later.  We met up with S and Jo and decided at my suggestion that we find a place to have breakfast on the street I had mentioned earlier that had an almost Parisian feel.  We easily found a restaurant with outdoor seating and sat down for breakfast.  I had  traditional eggs and toast.  (Don’t crucify me, I would eventually delve into traditional Thai cuisine just not right now).

We planned out our day:  a trip to yet another temple and then catch our flight in  the afternoon to Phuket.  J and I tolerated the temple visits and even took some pictures.  We got back early enough that I decided to walk around Khao San Road and do some shopping. I have to admit I’m not good with shopping.  I am extremely indecisive and have difficulty making good decisions on the spot.  For me, "buyer’s remorse" is the usual result of spontaneous shopping and knowing that, I tend to avoid it.  Also I was having trouble with the local currency and knowing how much is too much to pay for something when you’re under pressure.  Plus, bargaining is a must when shopping in places like this.  They  always give you an inflated price with the expectation that you will bargain them down.  I am always fearful of not bargaining enough and paying too much or going too low with my offer and insulting the seller or just looking stupid. I may have been overthinking it a bit.

Anyway, I managed to buy a tee shirt with the logo of a local beer and also a bathing suit.  Naturally the bathing suit did not fit as I hadn’t been able to try it on and buyer’s remorse ensued.  I quickly got over it with the excitement of our trip to Phuket.

It was an ordeal packing up all our stuff again, checking out and lugging our luggage down the  bumpy crowded road to catch a taxi to take us to the airport.  Our flight was mostly uneventful however and we arrived in Phuket on time.  After a long drive to our hotel, we checked in, were led to our rooms and I was happy to find that it was everything that I wanted.  We opened our curtains to a beautiful view of the pool and the ocean.  Sitting on the our patio we could hear the constant sound of the waves crashing on the ocean and it instantly relaxed my frazzled mind.  Of course I had to jump on the bed…(I’m still a kid at heart)  and reveled in how soft and cushiony the bed was.  We would take many unintentional late afternoon naps on this bed… and by naps I mean 3-4 hours of heavenly slumber only to wake up in a panic  because we were supposed to meet S and Jo for dinner or get ready to go out someplace.  Oh well, blame it on the jetlag.

Anyway, this evening was the first of those naps.  We woke up 4 hours later at 10pm (we were supposed to meet up for lunch to 8pm).  So J and I ended up going to one of the hotel restaurants and made it there just in the nick of time before they closed the kitchen.  We sat out and enjoyed the night breeze.  I ate a quesadilla (Hey, don’t judge, I was too hungry to experiment with unfamiliar food).  We went back up to the room, sat out on our balcony listening to the sounds of the ocean and eventually went back to bed. And so ends my second day in Thailand.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Travel Blogging

I am revising my blog or rather broadening its scope to include my love and passion not only for my hair journey but for travel and photography.  Travel and photography are two of my greatest loves.  I've considered doing an entire blog dedicated to travel and photography but unfortunately I don't get the opportunity to travel enough to be able keep regular postings that are interesting and informative.  Therefore for the time, I will include blog postings about not only my travels but places I've discovered that I wish to travel to in the future whether relatively local or halfway across the globe.  I will even try to relate it back to what this blog is originally about which is my natural hair journey.  That shouldn't be difficult because often when I'm about to travel, one of my first thoughts is "what will I do with my hair?".  Not out of vanity but because I require convenience when I travel.  I am generally pretty low maintenance and prefer to be even moreso when I"m on the move.  Get up, shower 5 minutes and I'm off to conquer/discover the world around me.  That's my passion!  For that reason protective styling is almost a must.  So you'll have the opportunity to find out what low maintenance styles I choose to do on my natural hair when traveling and how it holds up, plus how people abroad respond  to it (you'd be surprised how intrigued many people are by Afro hair!)
My first travel blog post will be about my recent trip to Thailand (first time ever to Asia).  I have some awesome pictures to share, recommendations and some stories that may intrigue you.  Stay tuned!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Events and Hair

The organizer
I went to my first natural hair event a couple of weeks ago held in my hometown of Fort Lauderdale, FL.  It was a great time with martinis, appetizers, entertainment, giveaways and best of all gorgeous naturalistas.
This was an impromptu event for me.  I got ready in about 10 minutes, hair and all.  Not bad, huh?  Of course since this wasn't planned, I hadn't brought a camera so these are my phone pics.  I hope you enjoy!
Just a few of the naturalistas enjoying martinis and chatting
My appletini


my mom and a friend


Another of the organizers.  My mom was crushing on her beautiful hair color

In other news, my boyfriend has officially graduated from grad school.  Below are photos of my hair for his graduation and the awards banquet we attended.
funky half-updo for graduation
Classy updo for the awards banquet