Natural Hair Milestones

1)  The Big Chop: It can be like a traumatic event.  You go from Denial and every step along the way to Acceptance.  That is acceptance of yourself and whatever this new you looks like, acceptance of your hair texture (that's a huge biggie for a lot of people), acceptance of the work that will go into "learning" your hair,  and so much more.  But the good thing about getting to this stage is that you can move on to the best stage of all: celebration!

2)  Your first compliment/insult:  It'll happen.  Somebody will say something that makes you feel so great.  And then somebody will say something (maybe in all innocence) that cuts you down so low.  How you handle these stages is very important to your success.  Check out one of my favorite naturalistas, Solange Knowles' response to an insult"

You may be as sassy as Solange and put someone in their place, or just shake your head and keep it moving (cause after all, if it's not on their head, it's none of their business).  Or you can regret your decision/cry/obsess over how to "fix" your hair, etc.  You will come to realize that how you react is entirely up to you.

3)  The first time your significant other/someone you would like to be your s/o validates or invalidates your decision.
It's easier to deal with strangers and harder to deal with someone you like very much or are in love with.  That can be one of the most difficult battles.  But just remember, a s/o who truly loves and supports you or has the potential to, will be able to look past any superficial likes or dislikes concerning your hair and respect your decision and even love you that much more for it.

4)  The first time you have a REALLY BAD hair day.
It will happen.  Shrinkage, frizz, tangles, etc.  Can you rock the hell out of a lop-sided fro?   Or will you be downtrodden and let the whole world know your entire self-confidence is tied to your hair?  It's harder than it sounds not to do the latter.  But you just have to remember that, attitude is everything!

5)  The first time you have REALLY GOOD hair day.
Hey, you have nowhere to go and your hair is looking heavenly!  That's when you take a million selfies and post them on Instagram, get all dressed up and go walk around the supermarket or call that guy who's been begging you for date and you haven't given him the time of day because this rare occurrence cannot go unnoticed! 

6)  The first time you master a twist-out/bantu knot out/braid out or any other hairstyling technique
A  million youtube videos, and a cramp in your fingers from all that damn twisting/braiding/knotting and you think, "This is my third try at this and it better come our right!"... and it does!  And you realize that maybe you CAN do this natural hair thing after all

7)  The first time you reach your goal length:
I can only imagine what this feels like because I"m not there yet but most naturalistas have a goal length be it bra strap length, waist length... whatever.  Once you get there, you know you accomplished what you set out to and life will be a bit easier from here... I hope!

Is There a Natural Hair Movement?

An inspirational naturalista, Solange, newly chopped

Over the past year or so, I've been hearing a lot about a natural hair movement.  At the time that I went natural, I certainly was not joining a movement.  No one I knew personally was natural and no one was really talking about it.  I felt like I was definitely going against the grain and was so nervous about how people would see me.
I got questions like: "Are you extremely religious?" or "Did you have a bad break-up or something?" as if to say being staunchly religious or going through some crisis involving a man was the only reason someone would cut their hair off and start over again natural.  I say this to point out that up until recently, there was nothing anyone would mistake for a "natural hair movement".  So whenever I read someone referring to a movement, I mostly just rolled my eyes and kept it moving.  But I'm starting to notice a pattern myself.
Going natural isn't just for the afro-centric extremist or some other exceptional group of people.  It's for everyone.  I've seen a lot of just normal everyday black women rocking their natural hair and it makes me smile.  At my job, there are 5 black women, 4 of which are natural (including myself).  Just the other day, I was admiring how we are all natural but so different in our styles.  I was rocking my go-to protective style for work, a twist updo, one of the ladies was wearing a puff, the other a twist out and the last one also a wash-and-go.  I feel like it's now normal and not an exception anymore to be natural.
Well, I was never sure how I felt about this so called movement because truthfully I like diversity.  I like that my look is a little bit different and that someone else may have straight hair, and another person may have long extensions or whatever.  I dont' feel like everyone has to conform.  But guess what?  It's just an affirmation of our beauty as black women that we can proudly go about with our real natural hair and have it be not only OK, but beautiful... and still quite diverse.  So, I'm embracing the "movement" and encouraging everyone to be themselves whatever that means for you.  Diversity is good but self-acceptance?  Even better!