Everyone goes through rough times. At least that's what I'm telling myself right now. During these rough patches is always a good time to re-evaluate your goals. For me and probably many others, the problem is having lost sight of what those are. They are there in the back of my head in some abstract form but I need to put them in writing and actively work toward them. So because of this rough patch, I've decided that goal-writing is a fitting exercise to get me over this hill and back into a beautiful grassy valley of easy living. Since everyone goes through rough times, I thought I would share this exercise with you guys in case you too are going through a rough patch.
The first thing you need to do in rough times is put things in perspective. It's easy for a mole hill to feel like a mountain. Remember that there is true suffering the world. Homelessness, life threatening illnesses, different kinds of physical and emotional trauma and abuse and much worse. In the grand scheme of things, are your problems generally somewhat manageable either now or in the near future? If so, give thanks your problems are relatively small and surmountable and move forward from there.
Next, evaluate your situation. Make a list of what is wrong in your life... the things that are really bothering you. Then, evaluate how you got to this place. How did you end up in the job you hate? Or in the relationship that is toxic? Try not to blame others or outside forces and think of what you may have done, if anything, to contribute to your present situation. Make a list. It's good to know where you may have made a wrong turn so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
Now make long term goals. This may seem backwards and you may be thinking it makes sense to tackle the short term goals first and you are right. But as far as writing down the goals, where you hope to be in ten years will help you decide where you need to be in five years in order to be on track for that ten year goal. Got it? Looking at the big picture first then narrowing it down to the smaller picture is usually easier. Your long term goals don't have to be for ten years. Some people can't see that far ahead and that's OK. It can before as little as two years. For example, say your long term goal is you plan to be married in 4 years. Then a logical short term goals is to be in a relationship in two years. Make realistic but ambitious goals. Only you know what you're truly capable of. If confidence is a problem, think of the things you have accomplished so far and, if necessary, and make a list of those too.
Once you have made your goals take a good long look at your short term goals (don't worry about the long term goals yet, they will take care of themselves as you work on the short term ones). For each goal, write down at least a few strategies you can utilize NOW to contribute toward meeting each goal. Again, be realistic. And voila, you have an action plan. (You may come to feel better about your current situation as you start to see how it can be a stepping to stone to get to where you really want to be).
As you get ideas for strategies, write them down and tackle them right away. Forgive yourself if you fall off track now and again as long as you get back on. Revisit your goals on a regular basis (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, whatever works for you). Keep a journal of your accomplishments and of the times you fell off track or got frustrated. Nothing happens overnight so be patient. Don't be afraid to revise your goals. You may decide down the line a goal is unrealistic or not what you really want. Or maybe you come to find that one of your goals is beneath you and you need to set your sights higher. Think long and hard though before you change or abandon a goal. Changing your goals often is counterproductive to accomplishing them.
So, I"m about to go take my own advice and set some goals and I'll let you guys know how it goes. Good luck!
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