Jessica Lavin's Natural Hair Feature

 I had the opportunity to photograph and interview one of my favorite newbie naturals!  I can’t tell you guys how excited I was and still am.  Jessica has become a good friend of mine and her attitude and her spirit are so beautiful, I was just hoping I could do it justice by bringing it to light in this photo shoot.

Read her interview below:

1)  Why did you decide to go natural and what was the transitioning process like for you?

When I was 15, I put a relaxer in for the first time and so for about half my life I’ve been with a relaxer and my hair was constantly breaking.  The first five years was fine but then when I went to college with all the stress and I didn’t really know how to take care of my hair and my mom wasn’t close enough to help me take care of it, it just started breaking and shedding.  I started putting in weaves to compensate and that was even worse.  It was just too much strain on my hair.  I had been thinking about going natural for over 2 years.  The last time I had a relaxer, my mom was like, “You have patches of hair that are basically gone.  No more relaxers!”  So in July, I put my last relaxer in.
The transitioning process was very difficult.  For the first ten months, while I transitioned, I had the two textures and it was hard to find styles to do with both textures and the line of demarcation was breaking.  Everybody had advice but it was just not great advice.

2)  What do you love most about being natural?

There are two things.  The first is to be able to rediscover my new hair.  It’s like an adventure.  The second part is the attention that I’m getting.

3)  What is your regimen and how do you often style your hair?

I just did the Big Chop 2 weeks ago.  Now every other week I cowash with As I Am conditioner and every other week I wash with Shea Moisture shampoo.  When I cowash I just use a leave-in and that’s it.  Every two weeks when I use a shampoo, I do a deep conditioner with a treatment ... usually a protein treatment and recently a Henna Placenta treatment.   I do the finger detangling a little bit and I also use a wide tooth comb.  I braid it while in the shower.  And then every night I two strand twist my hair.  It takes me like 20-30 minutes.  I also use a treatment my mom brought me from Haiti.

4)  What advice do you have for other naturals or those considering going natural?

Be gentle with your hair.  The biggest advice is when it comes to rediscovering your hair it’s something you have to do on your own because everybody’s hair is different.  The biggest problem for black women in America about being natural is thinking you won’t be as attractive and that it won’t be accepted in the workplace and it's not professional.  Every time someone says it's not professional, I think "Why is my hair in it's natural state not professional when a white person's hair in its natural state is?"  That‘s just another form or racism because this is how God gave me my hair.  I didn’t realize how going natural could change my whole life.

5)   What are three words that describe your hair now?

 Free and happy and… I don’t know… just ME

5) How did your significant other react?

He met me with straight hair.  He doesn’t understand what natural is because his only experience of natural was his sister with doo-doo braids.  So when he thinks of natural he thinks of that and he’s like “Oh no.”  At first he didn’t want to have anything to do with it but I just started doing it and he didn’t even realize it.  He was like “I don’t want you to cut your hair off.”  He was very upset about it.  He doesn’t like short hair.  I just started showing him pictures and sneaking it up on him.  He got so interested in it and he realized it was bigger than me… he realized the bigger picture.  He said “Whatever makes you happy, do it.”  When my mom cut my hair, he didn’t even realize.  I wore a half wig for the first few days until I went to a Haitian event and half the black women there were natural and he was all excited.  And then I said, “I’m gonna just let it go.”  I just did it and I went to work the next day and they were so happy for me and so excited about it and I just kept it like that.  He’s adapted.  Now he likes the attention.

Is the grass greener on the other side?

Chloe in Star's bed

Star in Chloe's bed

I always thought it was human instinct to have what other people want instead of what you have.  it's such a prevalent nature in people that we even have a saying to describe it.  "The grass is/isn't greener on the other side".  You would think that being aware of this faulty tendency would give us the ability to override it, but that is still rarely true.  It takes more than awareness but the patient cultivating of that awareness and then still...
This is usually the underlying root of jealousy.  I catch myself sometimes looking at other people's  jobs, families, vacations, material things and feeling like my -fill in the blank- is inadequate.
Well before I turn this into some deep philosophical post, and I do love to go off on my soap box, we'll go back to making this a light airy post about the comical nature of not just people but all living, thinking beings.
I am pet-sitting for the weekend.  Which has reminded me in case I forgot by the way, that having more than one dog is not a good idea for me, but that's another story for another day.  Anyway, my sister's dog, Star came with her leash, her bed, her own food and so forth.  The first night I went downstairs to find my dog, Chloe sleeping in Star's bed all snuggled.  At some other point, I have caught Star snuggled in Chloe's bed.  I let that go, neither one made much of a fuss.  But I have found now the challenge of having to feed them separately.  If I feed Star, Chloe tries to eat Star's food and vice versa.  No big deal you say but Chloe has a sensitive stomach and gets sick if she eats any dog food other than her specific kind.  Anyway, my point is, it's not just human nature, it's just how the mind works I guess.  Whether it's just the novelty of wanting what you don't already have, or the boredom of keeping what you have, or whatever.  But I am making the conscious effort to appreciate what I have because I've come to see that very rarely is the grass greener on the other side.  It's green where you water it!  (I got that from a Justin Beiber song, btw... Yes, I listen to Justing Beiber!! Don't judge!)

"Chillin' with no make up on... that's when you're the prettiest" - Drake

"We're just ordinary people", isn't that what the song says?  We spend a lot of time trying NOT to look ordinary though.

The only place I've gone lately without even an ounce of makeup on is the gym.  The main reason is because I've had issues with my skin breaking out and leaving dark spots.  Yes, I'm putting that out there for the world.  What they hell!  We're all human with flaws right?
I always go to the gym without makeup.  Lately I kind of walk in with my chest high but I secretly hope I don't see anyone I know.  Well the other day, I did.  I ran into a guy who I used to work with who always had a not-so-secret crush on me.  When I spotted him, my instinct was to run.  But I held my chest high again, stopped and chatted.  To my surprise he told me how good I look and proceeded to try to convince me to let him take me to lunch.  (He knows I'm in a relationship by the way).
Why do women wear makeup?  I don't know.  We feel like out lashes need be longer, our eyes have to "pop", our lips should be glossy, our eyebrows should be filled in and our eyelashes should be longer and fuller.  I know I do.  And that's all great.  I love to get made up.  But when was the last time you took a good long look at the way you really look without all that.  It's definitely a confidence booster to take a good long look at yourself and focus on the things you LIKE... not your flaws.  In my opinion, people generally look younger without makeup up to a certain age. 
Anyway, yesterday I was just chilling at home, no makeup just hanging out.  And I happened to glance in the mirror and realize that I actually like how I look without makeup.  There's something about that clean, "This is me" look.  Yes, I look plain as can be but I feel like ME.  I spent most of the day makeup free, but then I got ready to go the movies and without thinking about it reverted to my natural instinct to put makeup on.  Anyway, I love seeing stars without makeup.  It reminds us that they're everyday people just like you and me.  No glam, just somebody I could imagine being friends with.  And I think most times they are quite beautiful.

Think about it.  Would you change your Facebook profile picture to be a "naked" close-up of you? 

I think Kim Kardashian is still quite gorgeous without makeup

All Beyonce needs a smile!

She looks so young without makeup!

She looks like the girl next door.... with glowing skin

My Love for Knit Hats

I love my knit hats.  I have a knit Beenie and the one pictured.  There are certain days when you just need a hat.   Today for example I reluctantly started twisting my hair...a 2-3 hour process.  The only way i can get through it is to take breaks...usually at least one long one.  I may go do things like run errands or take a walk and a hat comes in handy when rocking half twisted hair.  I love these hats because they are cute and comfy and they fit my head!  Turns out i have a big head (i like too think it's because of my brain) and having big hair on top of it doesn't really help.  I've tried to fit many a fedora on my head and ended up looking very awkward with it because no matter what I do it just won't fit.  Anyway I'm hoping to increase my collection of knit hats.  Oh and i know your wondering and yes i do wear them in the summer too.  Don't judge me ...i love my knit hats!

Getting away!

Relaxation mode!

I took a much needed few days off for a staycation (road trip to the west coast of Florida).  I let my hair down literally and figuratively for the first time in weeks and spent some quality time with myself and the boyfriend.  It was definitely relaxing and I  was pleasantly surprised that I could get away without having to spend a lot of money and get on a plane.  So mission accomplished!  Check out a few photos below.
We stayed at a hotel on the beach did some sightseeing at the Dali Museum in the Saint Petersburg pier went out to eat at some nice restaurants and just enjoyed our time together

Chilling outside at the hotel.  A guy walked up to me and told me I looked like I was posing for a photo shoot so I let him take a picture of me on my phone

Chilling and watching to sunset at the Beach at our hotel in St. Petersberg

The Salvador Dali museum

Natural Hair Milestones

1)  The Big Chop: It can be like a traumatic event.  You go from Denial and every step along the way to Acceptance.  That is acceptance of yourself and whatever this new you looks like, acceptance of your hair texture (that's a huge biggie for a lot of people), acceptance of the work that will go into "learning" your hair,  and so much more.  But the good thing about getting to this stage is that you can move on to the best stage of all: celebration!

2)  Your first compliment/insult:  It'll happen.  Somebody will say something that makes you feel so great.  And then somebody will say something (maybe in all innocence) that cuts you down so low.  How you handle these stages is very important to your success.  Check out one of my favorite naturalistas, Solange Knowles' response to an insult"

You may be as sassy as Solange and put someone in their place, or just shake your head and keep it moving (cause after all, if it's not on their head, it's none of their business).  Or you can regret your decision/cry/obsess over how to "fix" your hair, etc.  You will come to realize that how you react is entirely up to you.

3)  The first time your significant other/someone you would like to be your s/o validates or invalidates your decision.
It's easier to deal with strangers and harder to deal with someone you like very much or are in love with.  That can be one of the most difficult battles.  But just remember, a s/o who truly loves and supports you or has the potential to, will be able to look past any superficial likes or dislikes concerning your hair and respect your decision and even love you that much more for it.

4)  The first time you have a REALLY BAD hair day.
It will happen.  Shrinkage, frizz, tangles, etc.  Can you rock the hell out of a lop-sided fro?   Or will you be downtrodden and let the whole world know your entire self-confidence is tied to your hair?  It's harder than it sounds not to do the latter.  But you just have to remember that, attitude is everything!

5)  The first time you have REALLY GOOD hair day.
Hey, you have nowhere to go and your hair is looking heavenly!  That's when you take a million selfies and post them on Instagram, get all dressed up and go walk around the supermarket or call that guy who's been begging you for date and you haven't given him the time of day because this rare occurrence cannot go unnoticed! 

6)  The first time you master a twist-out/bantu knot out/braid out or any other hairstyling technique
A  million youtube videos, and a cramp in your fingers from all that damn twisting/braiding/knotting and you think, "This is my third try at this and it better come our right!"... and it does!  And you realize that maybe you CAN do this natural hair thing after all

7)  The first time you reach your goal length:
I can only imagine what this feels like because I"m not there yet but most naturalistas have a goal length be it bra strap length, waist length... whatever.  Once you get there, you know you accomplished what you set out to and life will be a bit easier from here... I hope!

Versatility

If there is one thing I love about natural hair, it would be it's versatility.  I don't remember being able to switch up my hairstyles like this when I had a relaxer.  And although I keep my hair in a protective style (usually twists) 80% of the time, it's so nice being able to rock a completely different look the other 20%.  I love the looks and encouraging comments I get from people when I wear my hair in a different and unexpected hairstyle.  I love letting my hair out after wearing it in twists for 2 weeks.  Or my new go-to topknot hairstyle that's a still demure but just a change.  Check out 3 of my different hairstyles over the past several weeks.