No Problem

Came across this on tumblr and I liked it except I didn't see why it was a "problem".  Eventually the person who wrote this will realize her hair is so much more beautiful in all its untamed glory and so much better for "the person you're dating" to touch and play with (wink)  :)

Springtime

Spring is here!!

I love spring.  Pretty colorful dresses,and accessories and all things feminine.  And it is a great time to wear my hair out.  It is the precursor to the summertime when humidity makes it impossible to wear your hair out without inevitable frizz and shrinkage (at least here in Florida).

I bought a pair of these hair flower clips at Ulta months ago although I rarely feel like I can pull of girly hair accessories like this because they make me look like ... well, a little girl.  But I couldn't help myself.  They are made of a silky fabric in beautiful pastel colors.  I'm sure you can find plenty of beautiful hair accessories perfect for spring in your local accessory store.  Don't be afraid to dress up your twist out or you fro or your up-do for an extra dose of "pretty" and put a little spring in your step (pun intended).

Natural Moments

Recycled picture of my sis Sonya

I went out with a coworker who rocks straight sleek relaxed hair.  I had my twist updo in as usual.  As we walked out of the building, we felt a slight drizzle.  “Oh my hair!” she exclaims covering her hair with her hands.  And that’s when I offered her my umbrella and realized I just had a natural hair moment.

My boyfriend and I can sit and waste almost an entire day looking at pictures of fellow naturals on tumblr.  And he has an opinion on every hairstyle.  He went off the other day on a whole soliloquy about TWA’s.

I live in perpetual dread of “wash day”.  Almost an entire day spent doing stuff to my hair … (shudder)

The other day, my boyfriend came across my written day to day to-do list pertaining to nothing but my hair.  He notices my hair is still in twists and  proceeds to lecture me saying, “According to your written schedule, today is supposed to be an ‘out’ day.  You’re a day behind!”.   He was right, I had gotten too lazy to take down my twists and my whole “hair schedule” was thrown off.

I often find lint, dog fur, twigs and other unrecognizable objects in my hair.

I literally cringe whenever I hear someone use the words “good hair”

My friend who has always been the same height as me said the other day, “I’m trying to figure our how come you’re all of a sudden taller than me”  We both pondered it for a minute and simultaneously came to the realization that it was my hair that made me look a full inch taller!

Reflections on Love

There is something beautiful about being loved for just what you are.  Maybe you have mood swings, you're irritable sometimes, you're not pretty some mornings, you have stubble on your legs because you hate shaving and don't do it often, you have bad hair days, you can be intentionally hurtful, you're often messy, you grow hair in places where you shouldn't (I won't tell anyone), and your breath isn't the freshest first thing in the morning.   (No?  Just me?  OK)
But when you find someone who makes you feel just as beautiful and precious at these times as when you are glowing, made up, perfumed, in a great mood, smiling, laughing, and agreeable, that is worth holding on to.  When you never feel the need to cower and hide because the person you are with loves ALL of you and you have to sit and wonder at times where he finds the patience.  When you find a person who forgives you when you are unkind and if he does not hesitate to come right back into your open arms when you're sorry then you have found "it" and hold  on tight.  Don't ever be afraid to say you're sorry or to go way out of your way with ridiculous romantic gestures just to show that person that you appreciate it all.  The ride is bumpy but so worth it!
And if you haven't found "it", hold out for that someone... you'll be glad you did.

Setting Goals

Everyone goes through rough times.  At least that's what I'm telling myself right now.  During these rough patches is always a good time to re-evaluate your goals.  For me and probably many others, the problem is having lost sight of what those are.  They are there in the back of my head in some abstract form but I need to put them in writing and actively work toward them.  So because of this rough patch, I've decided that goal-writing is a fitting exercise to get me over this hill and back into a beautiful grassy valley of easy living.  Since everyone goes through rough times, I thought I would share this exercise with you guys in case you too are going through a rough patch.
The first thing you need to do in rough times is put things in perspective.  It's easy for a mole hill to feel like a mountain.  Remember that there is true suffering the world.  Homelessness, life threatening illnesses, different kinds of physical and emotional trauma and abuse and much worse.  In the grand scheme of things, are your problems generally somewhat manageable either now or in the near future?  If so, give thanks your problems are relatively small and surmountable and move forward from there.
Next, evaluate your situation.  Make a list of what is wrong in your life... the things that are really bothering you.  Then, evaluate how you got to this place.  How did you end up in the job you hate?  Or in the relationship that is toxic?  Try not to blame others or outside forces and think of what you may have done, if anything, to contribute to your present situation.  Make a list.  It's good to know where you may have made a wrong turn so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
Now make long term goals.  This may seem backwards and you may be thinking it makes sense to tackle the  short term goals first and you are right.  But as far as writing down the goals, where you hope to be in ten years will help you decide where you need to be in five years in order to be on track for that ten year goal.  Got it?  Looking at the big picture first then narrowing it down to the smaller picture is usually easier.  Your long term goals don't have to be for ten years.  Some people can't see that far ahead and that's OK.  It can before as little as two years.  For example, say your long term goal is you plan to be married in 4 years.  Then a logical short term goals is to be in a relationship in two years.  Make realistic but ambitious goals.  Only you know what you're truly capable of.  If confidence is a problem, think of the things you have accomplished so far and, if necessary, and make a list of those too.
Once you have made your goals take a good long look at your short term goals (don't worry about the long term goals yet, they will take care of themselves as you work on the short term ones).  For each goal, write down at least a few strategies you can utilize NOW to contribute toward meeting each goal.  Again, be realistic.  And voila, you have an action plan.  (You may come to feel better about your current situation as you start to see how it can be a stepping to stone to get to where you really want to be).
As you get ideas for strategies, write them down and tackle them right away.  Forgive yourself if you fall off track now and again as long as you get back on.  Revisit your goals on a regular basis (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, whatever works for you).  Keep a journal of your accomplishments and of the times you fell off track or got frustrated.  Nothing happens overnight so be patient.  Don't be afraid to revise your goals.  You may decide down the line a goal is unrealistic or not what you really want.  Or maybe you come to find that one of your goals is beneath you and you need to set your sights higher.  Think long and hard though before you change or abandon a goal.  Changing your goals often is counterproductive to accomplishing them.
So, I"m about to go take my own advice and set some goals and I'll let you guys know how it goes.  Good luck!

THE CUTENESS!!

OK, so this was just too CUTE not to post about.  I live in an apartment complex and just next door to me moved in an entire family of latinos/latinas.  There are what looks like twin girls about 4 years old and as percocious as ever!  I'm always out walking my dog and they always stop me and want to pet my dog and often see me from their patio as I"m walking by and yell hi.
Anyway, today, I had just woken from a nap (yep, I slept on my twist-out turned afro).  I woke up realized I was in a time crunch, fluffed my hair out a bit and took my little doggie out for potty-time and I see one of the little girls out on the balcony with who I believe to be her mom.  And this is the dialogue

The pic I promised of my hair on Day two:

Little girl to me:  HIII!!!
Me: Hey
Little Girl:  I LIKE YOUR HAIR!
Me: Thanks
Little girl to her mom: I love afros
[... wait a minute.  Did I hear right? I thought that's what she said but wasn't sure.]
[Little Girl's Mom says something I cannot hear]
Little girl repeating to her mom: I mean I loooo-ooove Afros!!

The cuteness!!  It made me laugh, because I heard it loud and clear the second time even though she was talking to her mom and not me.  And I was wondering, "What does this little girl know about afro's anyway?"  But clearly she's seen enough to know she likes them.  She has low back length long silky hair by the way so she doesn't have afro-American hair herself.  I hope that if I am blessed one day with a little girl, that she will feel the same way about my hair and her own whatever texture it may be and be immune to any negativity that may come her way re: her hair. 
Well that was the little highlight of my day and I had to share.

Twist and Curl (2)

I redid my twist and curl but it came out with a little more twist than curl.  I used the same technique I used last time.  I curled my 1 week old twists around curling rods and used aluminum foil to supplement (see my original Twist and Curl post).  I used Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie to re-moisturize my twists and sealed with castor oil.  Oh yeah, I also trimmed my ends while in twists about 2 days prior.  More on that later.  Above is the result.  I'm still experimenting with this style to find the perfect outcome.  This time, I have not unraveled my twists further than untwisting them to see if I could get the look to last longer/less frizz.  I also used coconut oil on my fingers while undoing the twists. Then I loosely tied them down for a few minutes so there is less volume than last time. However, my hair is soft and moisturized and looks nice and shiny.I will unravel the twist outs more to create more volume in a day or so and I will post those pictures then.
Hope you guys like, I will keep working on this one :)

Above is a video I did about undoing twists.  Sounds simple enough right?  Well, like I mentioned in the video, I was having some issues with my hair snapping, tangling and snagging while I was undoing my twists, probably because I was impatient.  So peep my (very brief) tutorial below about how to undo twists with minimal damage and minimal frizz.