My Hair (Update)

This is what my hair has been doing lately.  I know it's been awhile, and honestly I kind of hit a road block with my hair hence why the blogging screeched to a halt.  All my passion and love for  my hair kind of dissipated and taking care of it was just another chore on my list.  I felt hypocritical to blog about loving your natural hair when I wasn't loving mine or give advice on how to make your hair thrive when mine wasn't thriving.  But I"m back!!.
I honestly thought about Big Chopping again and starting over, and I thought about getting dreads.  But I've decided to stick with it.  For a long time, I had stopped protective styling.  Mostly because of laziness and also because I felt bored with it but I've decided to go back to basics and start protective styling again and try to revive my passion for natural hair.  I don't have a choice because it's mine, there's nothing I'm going to do to change it and I'm definitely not going back to chemicals so I might as well embrace it.  I'm going back to the things I used to do to nurture my hair and trying to nurture my body too.  All my yoga-ing and meditating and exercising and trying to eat well are all part of the same goal: to take care of myself, be healthy and learn to love the things I cannot change.  So natural hair, I LOVE you!  You are mine, all mine.  I love our frustrating moments and proud moments and big bouncy moments and frizzy tangled shrunken up moments equally.

Yours truly, ME!

Yoga and Me

Yoga:

The word "yoga" comes from the Sanskrit root yuj,
which means "to join" or "to yoke".

Yoga is a practical aid, not a religion. Yoga is an ancient art based on a harmonizing system of development for the body, mind, and spirit. (yoga.org)

I have been practicing yoga on and off for many years.  I started taking yoga classes that were offered for free at out free gym at my university when I was 19 or 20 (13-14 years ago).  My consistency varied.  At best, I attended weekly classes.  When things got busy, I didn't go for long periods.  When I graduated, I no longer had access to the gym.  I started again when I started grad school and again had free access to gym with the same inconsistent pattern as before.  Wherever I went I would seek out yoga classes with varied success but mostly, I'd manage to find a gym that offered it included with a cheap gym membership.  I always took a beginner class.
Because of my lack of consistency, I never graduated higher than a beginner status.  Why did I do it?   It felt good, that was the extent of my understanding.  My favorite part was Savassana ("corpse" pose and meditation at the end, usually 5-10 minutes depending on the instructor).  I had no goals for yoga.  I never did home practice.  Yoga was not a part of my life, just a deviation that lasted for the duration of the class and ended when I stepped out of the class and for maybe 5 or 10 minutes before the feeling of calm and peace I got from it faded away.
I didn't understand and never pondered the true meaning of yoga.  I knew, I loved the relaxation I felt.  I loved pushing my body a bit during the classes.  As far as long term benefits, there were none.
I never began to progress with yoga until recently (as in the past year or 2) when I began a home practice.  Mostly because I realized it was senseless to pay for a class when after over 10 years of attending classes, I pretty much knew the poses and transitions and how to meditate at the end of each session.  Also, finding life increasing stressful and my levels of anxiety and sometimes even depression rising, I needed to find some peace. When I began doing home practice, I fell in love with it.  I was in the lead.  I chose the music that I found relaxing, I lit candles, rolled out my yoga mat and I pushed myself knowing my own limits.  There was no one to compete with, there was no pressure to stay in an excruitiating position because the instructor was dictating it and I had to "keep up".  It was just me and my yoga mat and I loved it.  I began to do it daily instead of weekly and began to see progress for first time.
I had recently discovered Instagram and although I recommend using social media sparingly (it can be addictive and a source for comparison and judgment), I found an amazing yoga community on there.  I would wake up each morning and check my Instagram to find inspirational words from yogis around the world, inspiring me to continue my practice.  Before I long, I started documenting some of my yoga and sharing my  journey with the world too.
Most importantly though, I found a change in my outlook.  I came to understand the principles of yoga that extend beyond a yoga mat, beyond being physically flexible and strong.  There were tools there to help me with my propensity for anxiety and depression.  As a sensitive person, the world would often overwhelm me.  Always has.  I have begun a journey of building a reserve of peace and calm within myself that I can tap into when life threatens to drown me.  I have learned that although I can't control outside circumstances, I can find peace in myself.
I call it a "journey" and "practice" because the work is never done.  I am cultivating kindness, peace and love within myself.   There are still good times and bad times.  I lose my cool sometimes, have the occasional meltdown, cry, yell, let anger get the best of me.  None of that has changed.  But I am more aware of my patterns and more in control of them.  When I find myself in a dark hole, I have the tools to crawl out.  Sometimes, I find myself in a bad place and I feel like, all this yoga-ing and meditating isn't working because it hasn't taken away the pain and suffering.  Then I remember it's not supposed to.  It's just the principle that it's all OK.  It's being at peace with the suffering just as I am at peace with the joy.  It sounds like an oxymoron but if you live it, you understand.  I will sum it up with a quote from whom I don't know the origin but it basically sums up the principle of yoga that is the most difficult for people to accept and the most crucial at least for me:
"Every moment of light and dark is a miracle".  I remind myself of this often.
Namaste!

I still love my hurr

Hey y'all.  Just an update on my natural hair journey.  I had mentioned how my hair hasn't been growing much the past few months to a year.  I think I'm finally getting back on track... I think. Hard to tell because I don't do length checks regularly or even at all.  I do know my hair feels healthier so I hope it's growing too.  Check out recent photos below. 
Anyway I want to share my new protein treatment that I love.  Let me start by saying I have suffered from weak brittle hair my whole life.  Being natural, it's a little better, but still a problem.  In my struggle to remedy this, I have tried protein treatments. I tried Aphogee 2 step protein treatment with mixed result. I felt it made my hair stronger but the last two times it seemed to make my hair very hard, dry and brittle(r).  I decided I was protein sensitive and discontinued. 
I have been unable to find something potent enough to strengthen my strands but gentle enough not to cause my strands to react negatively until now.
I found a homemade treatment online that consists of using Greek yogurt as a conditioner.  Now I recently converted to eating Greek yogurt for it's high protein content and I love it but never thought to use it on my hair.  For those who aren't familiar, Greek yogurt is very thick so it makes for a great conditioner as it will stay on your hair instead of dripping off.  I tried plain yogurt (couple tablespoons) with egg whites (about a tablespoon).  I mixed it with just a squirt of one of my conditioners (organic root stimulator) for good measure but you can skip this step.  I mixed together and that was enough to generously slather through my thick hair.  I left on about 10 min then washed my hair thoroughly.  I was afraid of not getting out all of it because it is slightly grainy but after a thorough wash there was no residue.  My hair felt moisturized with no hard scrunchy feeling and I felt like I had gotten some good protein in my hair. We will see if this treatment has any long term effect on my hair.  I hope this was helpful to you guys.
Hasta pasta, naturalistas!!

The versatility of natural hair

So over the course of last week, I have rocked over 4 different looks with my hair.  And that's just in a week! Plus I have a whole repertoire of updos that I didn't even get into at all this past week!  When I had relaxed hair, I had like 2 styles total.  I mostly wore the same hairstyle everyday.  I had limitations in length and just the straight texture that made certain styles impossible but most of my limitations were due to length.  Now I'm not speaking for everyone because I realize that many black ladies who are relaxed have a multitude of looks that they use weaves and wigs to achieve.  But for those like me who just never got into the wigs and weaves, my hair was pretty boring. 

With all the challenges of caring for natural type 4 hair, it's always nice to focus on the positives and this is one of them.  Happy Sunday naturalistas!!

Review of Miss Jessies Super Sweetback Treatment

This is a review on Miss Jessie's Super Sweetback treatment. this product was very expensive on the website. It was $50 or more. However they were having a sale during the holidays: 40 percent off everything! Even with the 40 percent off the products cost more than I'm used to paying for hair products but I decided to give it a try based on the amazing reviews that I read.

I was pleasantly surprised to say those reviews were true. This product first of all is a kinky girls dream come true.  it smells amazing, it is thick and creamy, it has great slip...and that's just from opening and looking at the product. As far as using the product, not only did it make my hair smell wonderful, it made my hair shiny and super-moisturized. Today is day 7 after conditioning with this product and my hair is still shinier than I'm  used to seeing and I think it is because of using this product. My hair just looks healthier in general.  Even though I am a total spendthrift and normally would never in a million years spent $50 for hair conditioner, I would actually consider buying this product full price after this one is finished. I feel like it can go a long way in improving the health and appearance of my hair. I have a feeling this 16 ounce bottle that I have will last a good amount of time if I use in moderation. Therefore I think it's totally worth the money. And that wraps up my review of Miss Jessie's super sweetback

Yesterday was my 32nd bday!!!  I had a much needed relaxing massage, blew out candles, made a wish, ate cake, saw a movie, and went for dinner at a nice restaurant. 
Me hair started out down and messy but I liked the freedom.  However being in Florida the weather on my birthday can be either hot or cold.  This year it was hot and humid so after returning from the movies with damp shrunken frizzy hair, I had to improvise an updo. It went well and the hair jewelry I rocked for the first time added some oomph to an otherwise standard updo. So yeah it all went well.  I'm looking forward to my 32nd year of life being nothing short of fabulous!  Peep photos below.

My (lack of) hair growth

I am NOT one of those natural hair girls who keeps track of their growth on a regular basis.  From time to time I'll  kind of just eyeball my hair to see what kind of progress I am making toward my length goals.
Something told me that my hair growth had slowed to a crawl over the past the year or so but I thought maybe I was just being paranoid.  I would still get the occasional comment that my hair looks like it's growing well but recently when I looked back at some old pictures in my phone I came across a picture of me exactly one year ago a little after Thanksgiving.  I was taking selfies in the bathroom and I happened at the time to do a length check where I stretched the front of my hair down and took a picture of where my hair came to which was to about my top lip. Looking back at this picture, I realized that my hair is at this point the exact same length it was on that day about a year ago.  I did the same length check which confirmed my suspicions.  This was very disheartening because I have put a lot of work into my hair and I haven't been doing anything differently. I have been protective styling and finger detangling. I have not applied any they or color to my hair and I have tried to be very gentle with it.  I came to the conclusion that I have reached a hair plateau and I may never reach my hair goals.  However, the optimist in me decided instead that it is time to rethink my hair regimen and to put a little bit more effort into reaching my goals.  What I have decided to do after reading suggestions online and looking at some YouTube videos is to start using my biotin again, start using castor oil on my scalp and doing scalp massages regularly.  I will also haba a more stringent  moisturizing regimen.  I have decided to try this for 3 months and see if I have made any progress. If so, I will continue with these practices for the year to see if I can get closer to my hair goals.  If not I will have to think of a new strategy or I might as well just go back to my regular regimen and accept that this is the length my hair will remain and just focus on maintaining health instead of gaining length.  Here it's a photo of my hair now.  I will keep you guys posted.

My faux bob

I decided to do a faux bob on my hair after many months of yearning to cut the back of my hair into a bob. I haven't done this because it is a big commitment to cut the back of my hair short considering that I need and want to wear my hair up do hairstyles from time to time and having short hair in the back would make this difficult so instead I tucked the longer strands in the back of my head under using a bobby pin and was able to create this bob look.  What do you guys think?

Wash n No- Go!

I attempted a wash n go y'all!!!! And it was a FAIL!   I knew it wouldn't have worked but after my 3 day old twist out got wet while swimming and then again in the shower (even though I wore a swim cap and a shower cap), I thought I'd give it a whirl.  I was pretty intent on wearing my hair down today.  So I wet it and raked some gel through and waited.  The failed results are below.
I ended up doing my signature top-knot instead.  Still disappointed I couldn't wear my hair out.  Oh well.  I guess wash n go's really don't work on type 4 hair!

Wash n no-go

Can't say I'm feeling it

Almost dry

My topknot

Busy

I know it's been awhile since I have updated my blog.  But you will be happy to know it's because I have been busy checking things of my bucket list.  Yes literally.  I have 30 items on my list as of now and some have been checked off.  Most recently I was able to take my mom on an awesome vacation! That was a first and a bucket list item that I was very excited to check off. 
Currently I am learning to swim...another bucket list item.  I actually had my first day of swimming class today and I've already learned a lot and I'm feeling excited.
As far as my hair goes, I was nervous about chlorine damage and having to shampoo my hair more often than I'm used to because 1) it's time consuming as hell and 2)  shampoo dries out my hair and I avoid it when possible and opt to co-wash instead.  The damage and dryness were the biggest things. Thankfully I've discovered that with a good fitting swim cap I can almost completely avoid getting my hair saturated with chlorine water.  I was excited to discover this.  Only a little bit of my nape got slightly wet!
I went ahead and shampooed my hair anyway in twists. And that's how that went.  Done and done :-)
Anyway check out some pictures of me vacationing with mom and my hair after being washed in twists (you can really see my curl pattern)
Anyway hasta pasta, naturalistas!!  Until next time

Back to basis

So after obsessing and fighting with my hair, I decided to take it back to basics and twist it up and leave it alone.  I've been feeling in a frustrated rut.  The last time I remember feeling this way was during my awkward twa stage where I was hating the limited styling options, the texture, and the length of my hair and feeling plain ugly.  Well that's exactly how I was feeling over the past week.  Check, Check, and check...all of the above especially the ugly part. 
Anyway I've stopped obsessing.  I may be in a slow growth phase so I figured I'm always safest with protective styling and a few accessories won't hurt either.  We'll see home goes from here.  Below is my style for the day and for the first time in over a week, I feel somewhat together and decent looking.  Too bad I have no place to go :-\

A cure for the doldrums

I've been bored and frustrated with my hair.  I like to call it the summer blues because it seems in the summer my hair just don't be wantin to act right.  Don't really know how else to put it.  I started fantasizing about that pixie cut I've always wanted .... and bangs! Two hairstyle that would require me go crawling back to the creamy crack.  It was just a fantasy anyway and if I had even begun to consider it seriously, there is always my boyfriend to remind me why I went natural in the first place and all the reasons I'd regret it.  So I resorted instead to hair color...and I'm too chicken to seriously commit to even that! So I bought one of those cans you just spray on color that washes out.  I was actually giddy with excitement.  I did a couple of streaks and felt quite satisfied with myself.  I cured my boredom and feeling better.... for the moment.
See the results below. 

Eye Candy

Today I went to the Gardens Mall in Palm Beach Gardens, FL.  I was grinning from ear to ear... literally (I must have looked like a crazy person) when I saw all these beautiful natural haired women in Cache.  I mean all the sales associates were natural haired women.  One had kinky hair that she wore in a kick-ass chunky afro (fearless!), another had a head full of tight curls that hung down toward her shoulder, and still another had her hair flat twisted in front and a bun in the back (so classy).  All different hair textures and curl patterns but all stunning.  I didn't know where to focus my eyes when yet another naturalista walked in, a customer, also rocking a fro.  I was trying not to be creepy and stare.  I really wanted to ask to take their picture but that might have been intrusive (read: creepy) and they were all pretty busy.  But it made me realize this "natural hair movement" is going strong.  Hell, I"m hoping there is a bit of a natural movement all around.  Not just hair, but our bodies, our faces, nails, eyelashes, what have you.  I'm all about taking care of what gave you!  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against enhancing your beauty but that's not the same as drastically (and sometimes permanently) changing what you have to fit some "ideal".
I think it's awesome because we as black women are the only women who have this kind of hair and for so long we were ashamed of it (myself included).  But seeing these women wearing it so proudly, unabashed, in the workplace, on a date, just plain put and about being confident and fabulous... it has made me feel great.  It is just an affirmation of our beauty: something that society has threatened to put into extinction.  I love that this hair I have is unique to black women.  I feel a part of something.  As many struggles as I have with my hair I would never dream of going back for this very reason.
Anyway, that's all.  Just had to get that out there. 

PS: I have had these extensions in all of 2 days (see  my previous post: Havana Twists) and I"m already missing my own hair.  Oh and when I asked my boyfriend if he likes my new do, his response?  "It's... different.  So I like it but I like your real hair better and the different styles you do with it.  Your real hair is more fun to play in".  Aww... that's good to hear :)

Havana Twists

I'm rockin Havana twists y'all!  This protective style is definitely popular for the summer especially among naturalistas because it uses Marley hair which blends in well with kinky curly hair.  I've seen a lot of ladies rocking this style including Solange and a few of my fellow natural hair bloggers and it looks absolutely amazing on them.  So I had my sister put them in for me today and I couldn't be happier.  I was expecting that maybe it would be a little bit heavy but they're not at all. It's a very cute and trendy style that will give me a break from dealing with my hair for a few weeks.  I'm not sure how long these are going to last but I'm hoping to be able to wear them for at least 3 weeks.  I'm going to try my best to make them last that long. 
So here is the low down: 
It took about 4 hours to install.  Also consider that it's  my sister's first time installing these so there's a bit of trial and error involved increasing the time it took. 
I used 3 packs of 1b hair plus a wee bit of a 4th pack.  The packs cost 5.99 each at my local beauty supply store.
I washed my hair thoroughly detangled and moisturized prior. 
I used Shea Moisture curl enhancing smoothie and Ecostyler gel during the install for moisturizing my hair and for hold. 
See photo below

No More Protective Styling

Hey naturalistas,

Just giving you guys an update on how my hair is holding up without protective styling.  I have to admit it hasn't been easy fighting the dryness and the tangles.  For some reason I find that when I wear it out no matter how much I moisturize, it always ends up being dry anyway. Aside from those two things its been going pretty well. I've had to consign myself to spending 10 to 15 minutes every night prepping my hair for the next day which usually means braiding it for a braid-out or styling out in a bun or updo. Honestly I have not missed having my hair in twists.  One could argue that wearing your hair out all the time is more damaging than having it in a protective style. There is the nightly manipulation and unfortunately I have hand-in-hair syndrome which can cause knots, tangled and breakage.
Oh and lest we forget it's summer and the humidity is a b@%ch!  So I kind of have to set my expectations low for wearing my hair out.  Frizz and shrinkage are inevitable. 
But I've been trying to offset these things with gentle manipulation, drinking more water, taking my biotin vitamins, and consuming more protein (more on the benefits of all these things in a later post). This is basically an experiment to see how it goes and hopefully I will continue to retain length even without having to wear long term protective styles 80% of the time. That's not to say I will never wear my hair in twists again.  Sometimes I do need a break from styling my hair daily and twists are definitely good for that.

I

My Hair Just Wants to Be Free!!!!

I'm feeling a bit rebellious.  Here's the deal:  I'm tired of protective styling.  I've been  wearing my hair in twists about 80 percent of the time for the past two years.  Now as much as my hair has grown out and it's gotten a lot easier for me to style it while in twists  its still not the look that I envision for myself. I still sometimes feel a little bit frumpy so after a frustrating week last week I decided that I am forgoing wearing my hair in twists at least for a while and I will see how this goes.  The biggest challenges i foresee are knots, shrinkage, dryness, and split ends.  I will have to figure out ways to minimize all of the above and it's  going to be a challenge.  Wish me luck and I will keep you guys posted.

Before: wearing my twists at work

After: rocking my twist-out on the weekend

Hair and humidity 2

It's been raining here in south Florida for over 2 weeks straight!! The ground is saturated with rainwater and starting to flood.   The air is wet and humid...everything outside is soggy.  Between rainfall the sky is just gray and dreary and then it starts to sprinkle again.  Then torrential downpour then it starts the cycle all over again.  After 2 weeks straight of this I'm fighting to maintain a bright mood but boy is it hard! 
As for many hair...well I'm determined to ignore the rain and humidity and do as I please.  Last night i retwisted some of the frizzier parts of my old twist out, wrapped the ends around rods and slept with them in (quite uncomfortably might I add...i guess it's true that there's a price for beauty).  Anyway I was hoping today would be somewhat sunny but I woke to torrential rain and drizzly humid weather in between.  Today it's harder than ever not to feel gloomy!
  I was tempted to just pull my hair back into a bun after all that trouble I went through to prep it for wearing it out in big bouncy curls.  But then I  decided not to let the weather get me down.  I refuse to spend another depressing day sitting on the couch watching the rain fall and I decided would be wearing my hair out rain or sunshine.  I undid my twists, got dressed and ran in the rain to my car. .no umbrella!
So here i am.  Oh and on the way to my car I found this purple flower growing out of the lawn...it seemed so out of place there all alone growing out of the soggy ground.  I plucked it and stuck it in my hair and off I went. 
I ended up at Starbucks.  Ok so it's not a fine day at the park but at least I got out of the house.  And yes the beautiful curls of this morning are transforming slowly into a giant ball out frizz but so what?  One thing I can say about this bad weather... when  the sun comes out again I will appreciate it so much more! I guess you need the dark to appreciate the light.  Happy Saturday natualistas!

Wash N Goes Don't Work on Nappy Hair

Funny I came across this video because I haven't worn a wash-and-go or even considered wearing one since I had a TWA and it's been awhile.  But recently out of sheer laziness and also curiosity I've been considering trying one.  I've watched a couple of videos on how to do one on Type 4 hair but looking at the videos, I kind of snapped back to reality.  It's just not for me.  Anyway, this video had me laughing because it's definitely MY reality.  I guess I'mma stick to my twists ant twist-out or whatever.

Wedding Glamour

I got all dolled up for my sisters wedding I had my makeup done professionally for the first time and was amazed at how different I looked.  It was a little bit more makeup than I was used to wearing but I also felt a lot more glamorous than I usually feel. It was a great night.  She was a beautiful bride and I was happy to share this experience with her. Please check out the pictures of my hair and makeup and  my beautiful sister below.

Jessica Lavin's Natural Hair Feature

 I had the opportunity to photograph and interview one of my favorite newbie naturals!  I can’t tell you guys how excited I was and still am.  Jessica has become a good friend of mine and her attitude and her spirit are so beautiful, I was just hoping I could do it justice by bringing it to light in this photo shoot.

Read her interview below:

1)  Why did you decide to go natural and what was the transitioning process like for you?

When I was 15, I put a relaxer in for the first time and so for about half my life I’ve been with a relaxer and my hair was constantly breaking.  The first five years was fine but then when I went to college with all the stress and I didn’t really know how to take care of my hair and my mom wasn’t close enough to help me take care of it, it just started breaking and shedding.  I started putting in weaves to compensate and that was even worse.  It was just too much strain on my hair.  I had been thinking about going natural for over 2 years.  The last time I had a relaxer, my mom was like, “You have patches of hair that are basically gone.  No more relaxers!”  So in July, I put my last relaxer in.
The transitioning process was very difficult.  For the first ten months, while I transitioned, I had the two textures and it was hard to find styles to do with both textures and the line of demarcation was breaking.  Everybody had advice but it was just not great advice.

2)  What do you love most about being natural?

There are two things.  The first is to be able to rediscover my new hair.  It’s like an adventure.  The second part is the attention that I’m getting.

3)  What is your regimen and how do you often style your hair?

I just did the Big Chop 2 weeks ago.  Now every other week I cowash with As I Am conditioner and every other week I wash with Shea Moisture shampoo.  When I cowash I just use a leave-in and that’s it.  Every two weeks when I use a shampoo, I do a deep conditioner with a treatment ... usually a protein treatment and recently a Henna Placenta treatment.   I do the finger detangling a little bit and I also use a wide tooth comb.  I braid it while in the shower.  And then every night I two strand twist my hair.  It takes me like 20-30 minutes.  I also use a treatment my mom brought me from Haiti.

4)  What advice do you have for other naturals or those considering going natural?

Be gentle with your hair.  The biggest advice is when it comes to rediscovering your hair it’s something you have to do on your own because everybody’s hair is different.  The biggest problem for black women in America about being natural is thinking you won’t be as attractive and that it won’t be accepted in the workplace and it's not professional.  Every time someone says it's not professional, I think "Why is my hair in it's natural state not professional when a white person's hair in its natural state is?"  That‘s just another form or racism because this is how God gave me my hair.  I didn’t realize how going natural could change my whole life.

5)   What are three words that describe your hair now?

 Free and happy and… I don’t know… just ME

5) How did your significant other react?

He met me with straight hair.  He doesn’t understand what natural is because his only experience of natural was his sister with doo-doo braids.  So when he thinks of natural he thinks of that and he’s like “Oh no.”  At first he didn’t want to have anything to do with it but I just started doing it and he didn’t even realize it.  He was like “I don’t want you to cut your hair off.”  He was very upset about it.  He doesn’t like short hair.  I just started showing him pictures and sneaking it up on him.  He got so interested in it and he realized it was bigger than me… he realized the bigger picture.  He said “Whatever makes you happy, do it.”  When my mom cut my hair, he didn’t even realize.  I wore a half wig for the first few days until I went to a Haitian event and half the black women there were natural and he was all excited.  And then I said, “I’m gonna just let it go.”  I just did it and I went to work the next day and they were so happy for me and so excited about it and I just kept it like that.  He’s adapted.  Now he likes the attention.