"Good Hair"

You know me and my natural hair anecdotes.  Here's another one for you:

I went to a Thai restaurant with my friend.  This was an authentic Thai restaurant. I knew because the waiters and hosts were extremely extremely nice but spoke with very thick accents and poor English.  Anyway, I had my hair not in twists but loose.  I had a bun in the back and pinned up in front.  This style was done on an old twist out which I hadn't detangled prior to styling so it wasn't exactly smooth as you in to say you can really see the texture of my hair which is pretty thick and coarse and what might be described as tightly curled or kinky.  Ironically this day I was feeling particularly self conscious about my edges which I tend to have a hard time "smoothing".

Anyway the very friendly host walks us to our table and as we're sitting down he says:

Host: You have good hair
Naturally I look around not sure who he's talking to.
Host: Yes you, good hair
He smiles
Me: Thank you. (Blush)
My friend: See I told you, everybody likes your hair like that

I guess what struck me was the term "good hair" in that conversation that made me want to post about this.  Because "good hair" is a controversial thing in the natural hair community because black people have traditionally used it to refer to a black or mixed person with hair that is somewhat silky in texture with loose, defined curls which is so NOT my hair.  It has left those of us who don't have that texture hair feeling like we have "bad hair" hence why some of us may be afraid to show our true texture...and I'm guilty of it too.  I'm not sitting on my pedestal looking down at those insecure about their hair because even 2+ years into my journey I feel self conscious about it.  I don't have that "good hair", I have kinky hair.  So him saying that really struck me.  And of course he wasn't saying it in the context it is usually said by black people.  That was probably his way of saying "I like your hair" which is significant itself. But it was much appreciated.  I hope we will all start to re-think our definition of "good hair" to include our own hair as long as it is healthy and well-cared for.  Just some food for thought.