"Good Hair"

You know me and my natural hair anecdotes.  Here's another one for you:

I went to a Thai restaurant with my friend.  This was an authentic Thai restaurant. I knew because the waiters and hosts were extremely extremely nice but spoke with very thick accents and poor English.  Anyway, I had my hair not in twists but loose.  I had a bun in the back and pinned up in front.  This style was done on an old twist out which I hadn't detangled prior to styling so it wasn't exactly smooth as you in to say you can really see the texture of my hair which is pretty thick and coarse and what might be described as tightly curled or kinky.  Ironically this day I was feeling particularly self conscious about my edges which I tend to have a hard time "smoothing".

Anyway the very friendly host walks us to our table and as we're sitting down he says:

Host: You have good hair
Naturally I look around not sure who he's talking to.
Host: Yes you, good hair
He smiles
Me: Thank you. (Blush)
My friend: See I told you, everybody likes your hair like that

I guess what struck me was the term "good hair" in that conversation that made me want to post about this.  Because "good hair" is a controversial thing in the natural hair community because black people have traditionally used it to refer to a black or mixed person with hair that is somewhat silky in texture with loose, defined curls which is so NOT my hair.  It has left those of us who don't have that texture hair feeling like we have "bad hair" hence why some of us may be afraid to show our true texture...and I'm guilty of it too.  I'm not sitting on my pedestal looking down at those insecure about their hair because even 2+ years into my journey I feel self conscious about it.  I don't have that "good hair", I have kinky hair.  So him saying that really struck me.  And of course he wasn't saying it in the context it is usually said by black people.  That was probably his way of saying "I like your hair" which is significant itself. But it was much appreciated.  I hope we will all start to re-think our definition of "good hair" to include our own hair as long as it is healthy and well-cared for.  Just some food for thought.

Meditation and Natural Hair

You're probably reading the above title thinking what does natural hair have to do with meditation?  If anything dealing with your natural probably stresses you out so much that you NEED to meditate after an extra long and frustrating detangling session.  Well what I'm telling you is that that extra long detangling session IS a lesson in meditation and what it stands for.
So I've been studying meditation for a couple of years now on and off.  I think I pretty much have the general concept down.  I've been at this natural hair thing for a couple of years as well and I'm only just now seeing the correlation.
Today for the first time I tried finger detangling my hair completely outside of the shower or "dry finger detangling".  I had to follow it up by wet detangling with a comb cause that's just what my hair needs but it cut my wet detangling time in half with less wasted water in the shower and less time with my skin wrinkling, water dripping in my eyes and me wanting to literally scream and rip my hair out!
Where were we?... ah yea, meditation.  Now you can see why I need to meditate.
So while I was sitting there dry detangling, I put on some music and decided to take my time.  Right there off the bat is the first concept of meditation, taking time, slowing down, being mindful which is just another way of saying paying full attention to the task at hand.  Usually in meditation that starts with breathing but it can be anything.  In this case, it's my hair.  I had to make a very conscious decision to not let my mind wander thinking about what's going on tomorrow or what already happened today.  It forced me to be fully in the present moment.  When I felt my mind wandering or myself getting impatient and starting to rip through my hair, I had to regroup and come back to my practice of being present and mindful.  And I realized, I was essentially meditating or at least practicing the principles of meditation and Eastern philosophy.
So I've decided to stick with this dry finger detangling thing for the sake of my hair and also for the benefits I mentioned above.  And in that way, an hour spent detangling my hair won't seem like a waste.  I accomplished doing my hair and a meditation session all in one.  Leave it to me to find a way to multi-task!

Music Video and DC Recipe

Hey Curlies

It's been awhile.  I've been busy busy busy but my blog is back in rotation.  My first post is going to be the video below featuring one of my fave bloggers who I've been following for awhile.  She is a fellow naturalista and wears her hair with such pride, it's inspiring.  Not to mention, I like to support up and coming artists and I actually like this rap song and video.  And oh yeah, a rap video that depicts black women in a beautiful respectful way?  Rare.  A rap video that shows a woman with natural hair, almost unheard of.  So check it out below.  And check out Alex at.www.thegoodhairblog.com

Also, as I am typing, I am deep conditioning my hair with a recipe she shared on her blog.  I will post the recipe below.  For my conditioner of choice, I'm using Giovanni Nutrafix Hair Reconstructor.  I'll let you guys know how it goes but so far so good.

6 oz of your favorite conditioner

1 cracked egg (use the whole egg)

4 tspn of honey

4 tbspn of vegetable glycerin

1 oz of Jamaican Black Castor Oil

10 drops of vanilla (for scent, smells YUMMY)

2 oz of Vatika Oil

1 tbspn of Raw Shea Butter, melted

Girl Crush Alert: Zooey Deschanel

Trademark retro hairstyle, love the headband and large bangs

Cute dresses are also Zooey's trademark.. and my favorite things of all time

And of course leggings and heels add class and femininity

Va va voom sexy... check out those smoky eyes

Edgy and cool

A touch of "girl next door" chic

And the ultimate feminine style... who can pull of a poofy dress better??

Zooey Deschanel has recently come into mainstream spotlight since her new sitcom "The New Girl" has been a great success on network TV.  But I had a girl crush on Zooey long before this.  I first saw her in an indie movie many years ago and just couldn't get over how adorable she is.  I adore her quirky girly (but totally grow up) style.  It's so classic and classy.  Her trademark bangs are to die for.  And no one knows how to play up their eyes the way she does.  The contrast of blue eyes with dark hair that frames her face just so is quite striking.  But I have to come back to her style.  I love that it's not over the top, "I need attention now"... Dresses and tights are her trademark.  Her style is feminine with just the right amount of class and edge.  I adore it! Check out her photos above.

Who Do People Tell You Look Like?

People tell me all the time since I went natural that I look like Lauryn Hill.  Generally speaking, I don't see the resemblance that much but from the above pictures, I can see why people might say that.

However, before I went natural, people would say I look like Kelly Rowland.  That one also baffled me some.  Aside from general stature and skin tone, I don't see it.  But again, from the above pictures, I can kinda see how people could say that.  What do you guys think?

Optimist's Creed

Optimist's Creed

Promise yourself:
    To be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind
    To speak of health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet
    To make all your friends feel that there is something in them
    To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true
    To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best
    To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others are you are about your own
    To forget the mistakes of the past, and press on on the the greater achievements of the future
    To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile
    To give as much time to improve yourself that you have not time to criticize others
    To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble

[I was given this (above) by someone I'm sure but can't remember.  I have had it for years and refer back to it regularly when I'm feeling a bit... pessimistic.  Hope it helps those of you who could use a dose of optimism]

No Problem

Came across this on tumblr and I liked it except I didn't see why it was a "problem".  Eventually the person who wrote this will realize her hair is so much more beautiful in all its untamed glory and so much better for "the person you're dating" to touch and play with (wink)  :)

Springtime

Spring is here!!

I love spring.  Pretty colorful dresses,and accessories and all things feminine.  And it is a great time to wear my hair out.  It is the precursor to the summertime when humidity makes it impossible to wear your hair out without inevitable frizz and shrinkage (at least here in Florida).

I bought a pair of these hair flower clips at Ulta months ago although I rarely feel like I can pull of girly hair accessories like this because they make me look like ... well, a little girl.  But I couldn't help myself.  They are made of a silky fabric in beautiful pastel colors.  I'm sure you can find plenty of beautiful hair accessories perfect for spring in your local accessory store.  Don't be afraid to dress up your twist out or you fro or your up-do for an extra dose of "pretty" and put a little spring in your step (pun intended).

Natural Moments

Recycled picture of my sis Sonya

I went out with a coworker who rocks straight sleek relaxed hair.  I had my twist updo in as usual.  As we walked out of the building, we felt a slight drizzle.  “Oh my hair!” she exclaims covering her hair with her hands.  And that’s when I offered her my umbrella and realized I just had a natural hair moment.

My boyfriend and I can sit and waste almost an entire day looking at pictures of fellow naturals on tumblr.  And he has an opinion on every hairstyle.  He went off the other day on a whole soliloquy about TWA’s.

I live in perpetual dread of “wash day”.  Almost an entire day spent doing stuff to my hair … (shudder)

The other day, my boyfriend came across my written day to day to-do list pertaining to nothing but my hair.  He notices my hair is still in twists and  proceeds to lecture me saying, “According to your written schedule, today is supposed to be an ‘out’ day.  You’re a day behind!”.   He was right, I had gotten too lazy to take down my twists and my whole “hair schedule” was thrown off.

I often find lint, dog fur, twigs and other unrecognizable objects in my hair.

I literally cringe whenever I hear someone use the words “good hair”

My friend who has always been the same height as me said the other day, “I’m trying to figure our how come you’re all of a sudden taller than me”  We both pondered it for a minute and simultaneously came to the realization that it was my hair that made me look a full inch taller!