I have been wearing my hair in a twist updo during the week or at least trying to for a little while now. I made a resolution to up my game and have put a little more work into my hair with treatments and a consistent moisturizing regimen. I put my hair in small twists at the start of the week and pinned them up for protective styling. I have to admit, the extra effort paid off because my twists were neater (I took a little more time with them) and my hair was shinier than usual.
Anyway, I went to the mall and was (as always) happy to see a couple of fellow naturals. I always kind of look and smile but never feel it appropriate to approach. One of these naturalistas was a woman in Bath and Body Works who was rocking a TWA in a puff. I was standing in line behind her and as she walked away from the counter after her purchase she spotted me and stopped and said, “Excuse me, is that your real hair?” I was surprised because I’d never been asked this before as a natural, and I tried not to look too perplexed by the question as I answered and said yes it is. She told me my hair looks really nice and that she’s trying to get on her natural hair game too. I smiled and said thanks and told her good luck.
This interaction made me feel good. Some might say it’s rude to ask someone if their hair is real in public. It’s not something I would do personally but I’m a little bit more reserved and less bold than some. Maybe it’s a weird situation for someone especially in the case that it’s not your real hair and you don’t the world to know. But usually, at least my case, I don’t’ mind telling people I’m wearing extensions because I never wear weave with the intention of pulling it off as mine. I either wear braids or twists, never free flowing sew-ins or wigs, just cause it’s never been my thing. So I wasn’t offended at all, I was actually flattered. I didn’t realize when I had passed the threshold from struggling to manage my short kinky hair to having enough hair that people might think I’m wearing extensions. And I take that to mean my hair looks healthy too because although I have seen some ratchet dull, ratty extensions, usually extensions are shiny and healthy looking… sometimes to the point where it’s obvious it’s extensions.
Anyway, I remembered reading on a blog that will remain nameless, a fellow naturalista who has a beautiful head of big bouncy natural hair complaining at length about other black women stopping her to ask about her hair… usually asking if it was real and saying how beautiful it is. And I thought: I would be SO flattered if that were me. How can you complain about being complimented? Maybe she’s lost sight of the days when she had first gone natural and had short hair that she wasn’t sure how to style and felt a bit insecure and would have given anything for a stranger to approach her in admiration and give her that extra confidence boost. Or maybe she’s never had that experience. But I have. Maybe when I’m a natural veteran and I’ve mastered this natural hair stuff, I’ll scoff at people who approach me with a compliment too, but I hope not. I hope I will always be kind and gracious even when asked if my hair is real.
What do you ladies think? Is it a nuissance to be approached by fellow black women, (natural or not) who are curious and in awe of your hair?
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