Product Review: Carol's Daughter Hair Milk Curl Definer

I wanted to do a quick review of Carol's Daughter Hair Milk Curl Definer.  First I'll tell you guys how I got to try this product.  I spent the weekend out of town celebrating my nephew's first birthday and stayed with my mom while I was there.  She had this product, the bottle was almost finished but she had bought it to combat dryness and brittleness that she had been having some trouble with.  It was recommended to her by a friend who swore by it.
Well, I wore a twist out half-updo for the party and that night I tied it down and went to bed.  As usual, I woke up and my twist out was dry and looking crazy... a lot of the curl definition was gone and I was supposed to go to church that day.  I almost canceled my plans for church but thought it would be an abomination to skip church because of my hair so I decided to see if I could work some magic.  Mind you, I hadn't brought any products or accessories with me.  All I had were a couple of bobby pins and that's it.  So I decided to search my mom's bathroom where I found the last bit of the Hair Milk and a half finished jar of S-Curl Activator gel.  Bingo!
I slightly dampened my hair and put a wee little bit of the Activator gel on my hair with minimal result.  Now the Activator gel when used liberally does add shine and curl definition to my hair but I did not want to slather my hair with it as it leaves my hair all gooey and wet and makes me want to wash it.  So I reached for the hair milk and put some in my palm.  I immediately noticed the thick consistency which I wasn't expecting from a product referred to as "milk" since milk is kind of runny and watery.  So I was glad for the thickness, but even more than that, I was glad for the smell.  It smells divine!.. I sensed a hint of peppermint.  I put it through my hair and saw my curls come back to life, all the shine return to my hair.  It also made my hair soooo soft and fluffy! 
The effects lasted for 2 days because that night I simply put my hair in about 4 large plaits and removed them in the  morning for my puff and my hair was still super soft, moisturized and fluffy.  And still can't get over the smell. 

I wish I had a before picture, then you would see how jacked up my hair looked and what a miracle it was that I got it to look like this just by adding some product but it basically went from "I would never leave my house looking like this" to this (above).

Now the only downside is the price.  My mom bought the 10 oz bottle for $20 at Sephora.  I was thisclose to going ahead and buying it myself but I had to restrain myself as I already have a few products at home that I'm trying to finish up before I buy anything else.  Also I am on a really tight budget these days so I have to control the product junkie in me.  But I do plan to buy the bottle once I run out of my other stuff and see how it does long term.  I definitely recommend it!
FYI: They also have the hair milk conditioner and shampoo which don't seem to have gotten as good reviews as the curl definer. 

Ingredient List is Below

Ingredients
Water (Aqua), Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Theobroma Cacao (Cocoa) Seed Butter, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Cetearyl Alcohol, Polysorbate 60, Beeswax, Prunus Armeniaca (Apricot) Kernel Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Cymbopogon Schoenanthus (Lemongrass) Oil, Pelargonium Graveolens (Geranium) Flower Oil Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C), Sodium Bicarbonate, Xanthan Gum, Pentaerythrityl Tetra-di-t-butyl Hydroxyhydrocinnamate, Phenoxyethanol, Fragrance (Parfum).

No More Stress

Stress can affect us in many ways beyond the emotional impact.  It can affect our health, it can affect our appearance as well (hair loss, weight loss or weight gain, etc).  The effects of stress are far reaching.  When we are stressed our bodies release cortisol which is linked to belly fat and also to hair loss.  Stress can exacerbate or cause illness, which only increases stress levels and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Here are a list of ways this can affect you:


Higher and more prolonged levels of cortisol in the bloodstream (like those associated with chronic stress) have been shown to have negative effects, such as:

• Impaired cognitive performance
• Suppressed thyroid function
• Blood sugar imbalances such as hyperglycemia
• Decreased bone density
• Decrease in muscle tissue
• Higher blood pressure
• Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses in the body, slowed wound healing, and other health consequences
• Increased abdominal fat, which is associated with a greater amount of health problems than fat deposited in other areas of the body. Some of the health problems associated with increased stomach fat are heart attacks, strokes, the development of metabolic syndrome, higher levels of “bad” cholesterol (LDL) and lower levels of “good” cholesterol (HDL), which can lead to other health problems!

From ( http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/cortisol.htm)

I personally know myself to be very stress prone.  I have had to find ways to control my stress and I have been fairly successful lately at being aware of when my stress levels are getting out of control and ways to curb it.  So here are some tips for you guys.

1)  Meditation/deep breathing:  I know what you're saying: "who has time for all that??".  You do!  In 7 minutes you can calm your mind and your spirit with deep breathing and meditation.  I have an app on my phone that is a 7 minute guided meditation and it's free.  I am sure there are plenty of them available.  The one I use is called "Yoga Nidra Meditation".  But you don't need an app.  All you have to do is slow down your breathing, close your eyes, pretend time has come to halt and focus on your breath as it enters your body and leaves.  Imagine each breath entering your nostrils, making its way through your bronchi and bronchioles and down into your lungs.  Imagine this air is pure and clean.  As you exhale, imagine your breath leaving your body and imagine this air you are releasing is all your stress and toxicity.  Feel it leave your body with each exhale.  There are many other visualizations you can use as well.  The whole point is for a few minutes to stop thinking about what you did yesterday and what you have to do tomorrow or even a minute from now.  It's to be present and focus inward.  And it really helps to do it at least once a day.

2)  Aromatherapy:  I recently invested in a tiny bottle of lavendar essential oil.  I originally bought it to add to some hair concoction I had made to give it a pleasant smell. Well I decided it wasnt' the smell I was going for for my hair, but I came to realize that the smell of the lavendar really immediately put me in a more relaxed state.  I literally carry the tiny bottle around with me in my bag and take whiffs of it throughout the day.  Find an essential oil or any other oil that is proven to be relaxing.  These are often the same scents they use at the spa and if you get massages you might come to associate these scents with just that: relaxation.  You can put a few drops in your  bath and soak in it, or put a few drops on your pillowcase before you go to sleep or carry it around with me and at points in your day close your eyes and take a whiff.

3)  Give yourself TIME:  I used to (and sometimes still) start my day stressed.  I'd be running late for work, weaving through traffic and cursing at people through my window (I have a bad case of road rage).  Then I came to realize if I left my house 5 minutes... just 5 minutes...earlier, I could have a pleasant stress-free drive to work.  It could even be meditative.  When I allow myself time, I sometimes turn off the radio, recline the chair a bit and have a leisurely drive enjoying the scenery around me.  So what if the person before me is doing 40 mph in a 50?  That's OK because I have time.  I know you want to sleep in.  But is 5 extra minutes in a half-sleep/half-wake state really going to make a difference in how rested you feel?  Probably not, might as well put those extra minutes to having a stress-free drive to work.  This works in other areas too.  It goes without saying but : AVOID PROCRASTINATING.

4)  Listen to your body:  Eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty. When I'm hungry, I'm irritable.  When I'm thirsty/dehydrated, I feel weak and tired.  Both add to feeling stressed.  Keep a water bottle with you and drink when you feel even the least bit thirsty.  Keep a granola bar or some almonds or a healthy snack with you and when you get hungry ... eat.  I know you're on a diet, but denying yourself food when you're hungry is diet suicide and will lead to overeating later.  It's WHAT you eat and the portions you eat, not how regularly you eat.  So just make sure it's not french fries or something greasy and fatty which probably won't energize you anyway.  The bottom line is don't deprive yourself.

5)  Be thankful:  When I have a bad day and I'm stressed, I take a second and reflect on my day and what has gone RIGHT so far.  I ask myself: "What am I thankful for so far today?"  It's not a rhetorical question.  List some things in your head.  It will instantly change your attitude and your mood and you will feel less stressed.

Kelly Rowland's New Music Vid

I am posting this video because:
1)  I recently did a brief post on Kelly Rowland who I think has come into her own and I support her as a fellow black woman trying to do her thing.
2)  It's great to see black on black love (especially two beautiful dark skinned people together, how often do you see THAT in a music video)
3)  Lance Gross is FINE!!  My one celebrity crush... I so envy Kelly in this video.. yum... OK let me stop.  Peep the vid below and enjoy!


Kelly Rowland New Video: keep it between us

Fashion and Hair

Solange continues to do her thing holding things down on the fashion front.  She appeared at an event for Dolce and Gabbana (for whom she also rocked the catwalk) wearing this number.  The shoes are the business!  The lace dress and the purse are also fabulous and she continues to rock the natural hairdo's with a curly wig.  I love it!

I am a fan of Kelly Rowland.  Shes been killing it lately with her fashion and her new music and seems to be finally coming into her own.  I do not however care for her long super silky wigs/weaves that she typically wears.  Just my taste I guess, I prefer a more natural look so I was pleased to see she appeared at Dwayne Wade's 30th bday bash with this new hairdo.  It's the closest she's come to natural-looking hair since she stopped wearing her short haircut. I think the curly hair looks fabulous on her and closer to something that might actually grow out of her head... real or fake.  She got it right with this look.

Who Are Your Natural Hair Allies?

On my natural hair journey, I've been very lucky to have some supporters or like I prefer to say, allies to help me along.  My sisters of course, are my allies because they are also naturalistas and going through similiar struggles and triumphs... we try to help each other along.  I get the occasional compliment and my friends... at least the closer ones who really matter, have expressed that they like me with natural hair. All this makes me feel great.  Significant others are always important because at the end of the day,after yourself and maybe sometimes before, your appearance matters most to them.  It's a big part of what attracted them to you and big part of what we think will keep them around. I got lucky in that department too, because he is also a proponent.
And then there is my mom, bless her heart.  She means well.  I would not call her an opponent.  She never protested or tried to deter me from going natural.  As a matter of fact, she tries to be helpful and that is the problem.  Like all mothers, my mom is a bit overbearing and critical.  She doesn't think she is being that way. She is being a mom and naturally mom knows best so of course if she sees something that looks off she won't hesitate to point it out.  From the start of my natural hair journey, every time I see my mom without fail, she makes me feel like my hair looks a hot mess and I need to go hide under a rock until I can do something about it.  Now I'm not saying the something she wants me to do about it is to get a relaxer... but she always finds a way to let me know my hair doesn't look good just as it is.
Her comments range from, "Your hair is looking so dry, why don't you put something in it", to her most famous, "Is that how you're wearing your hair?" (accompanied by a look), to "What's going on with your hair?" (accompanied by a look) or "Oh, is that the style?" and so many other inquiries of disdain that leave me feeling insecure.  Sometimes she does this in front of other people and it makes me cringe. I have to save face with a, "Huh, what're you talking about?"  Sigh...
I forgive it because she's my mother and like I said, she means well.  She loves me, I know.  And at the end of the day, I'm sure I've made my mother proud in so many other areas of life.  Who cares if she doesnt' like my hairstyle?  Unfortunately it makes me think other people are looking at my hair and thinking the same thing and it kind of fuels some insecurities.  But it makes me that much more thankful for my allies who counteract any damage she might cause to my self-esteem.  After my confidence has taken a beating at her hands, I only have to ask myself one question.  Do I like my hair?  And if the answer is yes, then all is well. 

Hairstyles

I'm all about finding new hairstyles.  Gimme more more more hairstyles and I assume you naturalistas want the same.  No matter your hair length.. there are plenty of styles out there and sometimes we just need something to jog our imagination.
As for me, my hair has just recently reached a length where I can pull it into a ponytail/bun ... with the help of a headband and a few hairpins of course.  I have just enough hair left over to tuck and it's not the best bun ever, but it's a simple easy hairstyle that I can do while my hair is in twists or loose.

I also recently saw a tutorial on urbanbushbabes.com for doing one of Cipriana's famous updo's.  Her hair is super long but don't let that discourage you.  With a little tweaking you can make the same hairstyle on shorter hair.  I plan to try it soon and I will let you guys know how it goes.  Check out the tutorial for Cipriana's "Neffertiti high-top" here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZNTk72o9Z8&feature=player_detailpage. 
If you are in the TWA stage and can't do an updo just yet, worry  not.  Your hair will get there with TLC and patience.  There are plenty of tutorials on youtube featuring wash 'n' goes and twist-outs for shorter hair.  Stay tuned, more to come!

Do Some Natural Hair Veterans Get Snobbish About Their Hair???

I have been wearing my hair in a twist updo during the week or at least trying to for a little while now.  I made a resolution to up my game and have put a little more work into my hair with treatments and a consistent moisturizing regimen.  I put my hair in small twists at the start of the week and pinned them up for protective styling.  I have to admit, the extra effort paid off because my twists were neater (I took a little more time with them) and my hair was shinier than usual.
Anyway, I went to the mall and was (as always) happy to see a couple of fellow naturals.  I always kind of look and smile but never feel it appropriate to approach.  One of these naturalistas was a woman in Bath and Body Works who was rocking a TWA in a puff.  I was standing in line behind her and as she walked away from the counter after her purchase she spotted me and stopped and said, “Excuse me, is that your real hair?”  I was surprised because I’d never been asked this before as a natural, and I tried not to look too perplexed by the question as I answered and said yes it is.  She told me my hair looks really nice and that she’s trying to get on her natural hair game too.   I smiled and said thanks and told her good luck.
This interaction made me feel good.  Some might say it’s rude to ask someone if their hair is real in public.  It’s not something I would do personally but I’m a little bit more reserved and less bold than some.  Maybe it’s a weird situation for someone especially in the case that it’s not your real hair and you don’t the world to know.  But usually, at least my case, I don’t’ mind telling people I’m wearing extensions because I never wear weave with the intention of pulling it off as mine.  I either wear braids or twists, never free flowing sew-ins or wigs, just cause it’s never been my thing.  So I wasn’t offended at all, I was actually flattered.  I didn’t realize when I had passed the threshold from struggling to manage my short kinky hair to having enough hair that people might think I’m wearing extensions.  And I take that to mean my hair looks healthy too because although I have seen some ratchet dull, ratty extensions, usually extensions are shiny and healthy looking… sometimes to the point where it’s obvious it’s extensions.
Anyway, I remembered reading on a blog that will remain nameless, a fellow naturalista who has a beautiful head of big bouncy natural hair complaining at length about other black women stopping her to ask about her hair… usually asking if it was real and saying how beautiful it is.  And I thought:  I would be SO flattered if that were me.  How can you complain about being complimented?  Maybe she’s lost sight of the days when she had first gone natural and had short hair that she wasn’t sure how to style and felt a bit insecure and would have given anything for a stranger to approach her in admiration and give her that extra confidence boost.  Or maybe she’s never had that experience.  But I have.  Maybe when I’m a natural veteran and I’ve mastered this natural hair stuff, I’ll scoff at people who approach me with a compliment too, but I hope not.  I hope I will always be kind and gracious even when asked if my hair is real. 

What do you ladies think?  Is it a nuissance to be approached by fellow black women, (natural or not) who are curious and in awe of your hair?

Happy New Year, Naturalistas!

I wish you all a prosperous year full of love, success and fabulous hair!!