happy

I have a lot of opportunities to study people because of the kind of work I do.  I work in healthcare service industry and see many patients with whom I am lucky enough to be able to spend enough time with to talk to them and get to know them and build a relationship.  Not deliberately, I have come to notice the differences in people's attitudes, their outlooks the overall feeling you get from being in their presence.  I see a lot of older patients who have been married 60+ years who love to share the secrets to their happy marriages.  I've seen the happy, always smiling, pleasant to be around ones.  And then there are the miserable, nasty, hateful ones who make you wish you had never met them and instantly sour your mood.
I choose to study the pleasant ones. They are the ones who make my day brighter and give me a good feeling about life.  They are happy people.  And the reason they are happy??  Not because life has been all sugar and spice for them.  They had and still have their share of hardships... some with major ones that I can't even fathom recovering from.  But they focus on the positive.  One thing that all these happy people have in common, despite it all, they consider themselves lucky.  I hear it all the time, all these happy people at some point tell me that one thing: "I have been lucky" or "I am lucky".  They are ill, their spouses are ill or deceased, they live alone, they are not as mobile or independent as they used to be, they have financial troubles, etc etc.  But they are lucky because.... and they start to list all the things that have gone RIGHT in their lives:  My wife passed away but we had a wonderful 50 years together and 3 beautiful children.  Or I am ill, but I am still alive and functioning which is more than a lot of people can say.  I feel so inspired by these people.
I once had a patient say something to himself just in passing that I always remember for some reason.  He was very upbeat and jovial, always in good spirits, never complaining despite life's trials.  After this physical therapy, he bounces up off the mat and on his way out the door, I overhear him say to himself: "Every day is holiday and every meal is a feast!".  It seemed just such a random thing to say to oneself and not to anyone in particular.  And it made me shake my head and laugh because he seemed a little crazy in a world where people often go about their days and only seem to look for reasons to complain.  He for no apparent reason seemed to think there is reason to celebrate.  I noticed that this was his general demeanor.  And I noticed that I loved to be around him.  Even if I wasn't interacting with him that particular day, just his being the room put me in a better mood.
People like to be around happy people. It's all about outlook.  Your outlook is a habit.  People habitually focus on the negative or focus on the positive.  Whichever you focus on begins to appear larger and larger the more you focus on it.  Habits take practice and effort until it is one day second nature.  Think of all the things that have gone right in your day today.  Do it everyday.  Think of the reasons you are lucky and feel free to share them with others.  It sounds simple but it is actually very challenging to change your habits.  But once you've done it, you'll find you've discovered that elusive secret to happiness.